Courtesy of Gotopless.org

Flash Your Boobs, Save the Planet

Political activists of the aging hippie persuasion made a big, naked statement on Miami Beach Saturday to protest what they see as female oppression. The injustice: Men in Miami can go topless on the street but women can’t.

Donna Newman, regional president of the protest group Gotopless.org, believes a chest is a chest. “Males have two breasts just like we do,” she says. “Some have bigger ones than me.”

And she’s got a message for the ladies of Miami Beach: Your shirts are holding you down, sister. Her Maimi group is part of a national movement to promote females’ “constitutional right to be bare-chested.”

For good measure, their website welcomes you with a photo of dumpy, pale man sitting shirtless on the beach. Underneath him, text reads: Allowed?!

Next to him is a shot of tan, sexy woman with no top. Below her is written: Not Allowed?

They kinda have a point. Us Americans need to get rid of our leftover Puritan hang-ups about nudity. Just look at how much we freaked out when Miss Janet Jackson’s nipple popped out at the Super Bowl, Newman points out.

“The whole world was laughing at us,” she says.

Protesters - six of whom bared some boob at 8th Street and Ocean Drive Saturday - are also affiliated with the Raelian movement. Followers of the religious philosophy believe alien scientists created human life on Earth using DNA. You know, normal stuff.

She says Raelians are out to make the world a better place. And they’ll be fighting for human rights one boob at a time.

At the demonstration, women toted signs with the slogan “Free your breast. Free your mind.” But aside from a few pervy dudes snapping photos with their cell phones, they didn’t draw much of a crowd.

“That’s the childishness of men,” Newman says. “Wow. A breast. Whoo hoo.”

-- Natalie O'Neill

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