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Five Things Miami Heat Fans Want For Christmas

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This hasn't been the easiest season to be a Miami Heat fan. The Heat are in danger of heading into their Christmas Day match-up against LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers as a sub-.500 team. The fact is, the Heat are a middling Eastern Conference team at the moment with numerous flaws and weaknesses.

It's the Holiday season, and the Miami Heat fan can't catch a break lately; so here are some things Miami Heat fan would like for Christmas. Help us out, Santa, it's been a rough ass year, bro.

5. Spoelstra to give Shabazz Napier and James Ennis more playing time.

Seriously, the hell are we doing here? If you're some big Shawne Williams or Danny Granger fan, congratulations on that, but I prefer to go with the future of the franchise myself. The Miami Heat are at best a middle-of-the-pack spoiler in the NBA Playoffs this season, and at worst a sacrificial lamb for a contender in the first round; give the rookies some minutes and see what you have there.

If the Miami Heat are selling us all on them "being competitive until 2016" they can stop; playing Danny Granger isn't attempting to be competitive, it's attempting to get in a DeLorean and travel back to 2010, when he was any good.

4. No more injuries for a couple of days

What is this sorcery? We are paying for our past successes, aren't we? The Miami Heat starting lineup of Bosh-Wade-Cole-McRoberts-Deng looked like a cool little consolation prize when LeBron James picked the Cleveland Cavs this offseason; then we got to enjoy them playing together for an entire 34 total minutes this season. Seriously, I spent twice that much time last weekend watching a guy try to feed himself to an anaconda; this season is complete bullshit!

No more damn injuries. Uncle.

3. A new rally chant

You have to know when to quit-while-you're-ahead, and that moment was just about a year ago with this chant. You know how I know? I heard the Buffalo Bills fans doing it against the Miami Dolphins. You know how I know? Heat fans are now doing it down 12 against the Atlanta Hawks with a minute left after one Shawne Williams three-pointer.

Stop it. Try something new. The chant reminds us of better times anyway, and honestly it makes me sad when I hear it. I'm sorry to be the one to say this, Miami Heat, but you gotta stop it with this shit already.

2. More Miami Heat dancers stuff

You know what always makes me feel better? The Miami Heat dancers. Oh, you're gonna argue that are you? Thought so. I'm all for the #HeatLifer videos and "oh yeah! we'll be back IN 2016!" stuff but in the mean time I would greatly appreciate if you just continuously hit me over the head with the Miami Heat dancers. Literally spam my Twitter timeline, email me, text, like just whenever possible I'm down for this thing because it makes me feel better. I just want to feel better. We stink right now.

1. By some miracle, please baby Christmas Jesus let us beat the Cavs.

Not gonna lie, this one is not looking good. A few weeks ago the Cavs were riding a nice little losing streak, and the Heat were doing just fine; but not so much right now. Chances are the Heat will be without Chris Bosh, and hell, the way things have been going lately, Burnie might be out with the flu! Fun! The last thing Miami Heat fans need is LeBron dunking all over Justin Hamilton on their TV on Christmas; cut us a break already. If by some miracle the NBA Gods could grant us this win, Heat fans Christmas would be made.

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