Five Stupid Tech-Related Products

​​Do your fat fingers ruin every text message you send? Are electromagnetic cell phone radiation waves affecting your memory? If so, you probably shop exclusively at mall kiosks. From goofy hats to stylus-tipped thumb gloves, we compiled a list of useless products meant to enhance the cell phone experience.

1. As Seen on TV Hat; $29.95
This gimmicky headpiece transforms an iPhone to a personal movie theater and is marketed as "great for the whole family." Yeah, a dorky hat with dark flaps around the face meant to isolate you from the world sounds like the best way to keep the family circle tight.

2. Textees; $12.95 pair
In our opinion, texting is the second easiest thing to do on a phone behind making a call. Nevertheless, Larry Carswell wanted to make it even easier. "I once sent a romantic Valentine's Day message to my old college roommate. Wiley, instead of my wifey," he said via e-mail. That sparked the idea for a pair of thimble-like thumb gloves with a stylus designed to ensure pinpoint keyboard accuracy.

3. WaveShield: $19.95
Hypochondriacs will ignore the fact research linking long-term cell phone use and cancer has returned inconclusive results. Yes, cell phones emit radiation, and depending on the phone, the product "may reduce the strength of electromagnetic field emission from the cell phone ear pieces by as much as 50-99%." We'll take our chances and opt out of sticking a rubber cushion on our earpiece.

4. ThinkGeek Bluetooth Retro Handset; $29.99
We were under the impression that Bluetooth technology was about making life simpler, but how is a Bluetooth phone that wirelessly connects to another wireless phone at all helpful?

5. Violight UV Cell Phone Sanitizer; $ 49.95
Not only are cell phones slowly killing users with radiation, but they're also a cesspool of bacteria. Think about how many dirty hands and faces touch a cell phone in a given day. Is it really $50 worth?

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Victor Gonzalez
Contact: Victor Gonzalez