Other cities can't duplicate it. This eau is impossible to put into words, but here are a few ways you know you're in the presence of a card-carrying, bona fide, authentic Miami sports fan.
You could be in an airport in Salt Lake City, Tokyo, or Kenya, and chances are if you stayed in the same place throwing up the "U" long enough, you'd end up talking Canes football with a stranger. It's a fraternity. Whether you went to FIU, FAU, FAMU, or any other U — if you throw that "U" in the air, you'll find friends.
We actually like the current appellation, Hard Rock Stadium, better than the original. Since Stephen Ross dumped $500 million into refurbishing the joint, it looks better than it did when it opened. But none of that will ever change the fact that it's Joe Robbie Stadium forever. Nor will it divert from the reality that the stadium is built on an Indian burial ground. But that's an entirely different discussion for another day.
Win or lose, your children always look like fun-size you on game day. You want the best for your children, and when it comes to sports teams, you give them the Dolphins, Heat, Marlins, and Canes gear. And they like it. Even if the losses pile up and the logos change, you still buy the new gear. It's an addiction.
Have you ever met Dolphins fans who bought their kids Tom Brady jerseys? No, you haven't, because those psychopaths do not exist. The kids get a Dan Marino jersey and like it even if the former quarterback is old enough to be their grandpa now.
It's not only 305 until you die. It's also 305 after you die. Your kids must carry the sports-pain torch.
If you're too young to remember the big pink building, ask a family member what it was like to park down the street behind a chain-link fence, climb the steps, and watch the Heat lose by 34. It was dark, dammit, dark as hell for a while.
Thankfully, Micky Arison and Pat Riley came around in the mid-'90s and the Heat classed up the joint. Now the team plays in a palace on the bay, and the Panthers, well, they skate next to Sawgrass Mills Mall — still better!
Cocky Miami Heat Fan is the most talked-about. Hell, that was a thing before LeBron James came to Miami, During that time, between 2010 and 2014, it became legendary.
Miami fans are, and always will be, the loudest, cockiest, and most confident fans you'll find. That is, unless you're at a Marlins game. That's another story.