Sports

Finally, Your Chance to Punch Jose Canseco in the Face

Look at that face to the right there. Just look at it. Don't you wanna punch it? And don't even try to harp on how that face was right about steroids and yadda, yadda, yadda. We, for some unfathomable reason, read most of the second book written by that face...
Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

Look at that face to the right there. Just look at it. Don’t you wanna punch it?

And don’t even try to harp on how that face was right about steroids and yadda, yadda, yadda. We, for some unfathomable reason, read most of the second book written by that face. It ruined two trips to the beach and made Riptide that much stupider. We are ready to punch.

And now, thanks to one of Jose Canseco’s unending parade of sleazy and surreal publicity stunts, Riptide, along with the rest of South Florida, has a shot of making that face hurt.

On June 27, Canseco will be in a Fort Lauderdale boxing ring, trading punches with random people for three one-minute rounds.

Will you step up to support New Times this year?

We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If Miami New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.

$30,000

Somehow this is a promotional event for Smoking Everywhere, a company that boasts it is in the final stages of introducing a “groundbreaking electronic cigarette” — which makes sense only if your brain, or at least your wallet, is attached to the face to the upper right. 
The press release is here, but we really don’t know why you’re hesitating. Signup is at Dadeland Mall from noon till 4 p.m. Sunday, May 3, and the cost is $50, which we believe is very reasonable. If the promoters are trying to attract everybody in South Florida who has fists for that face, they probably should have scheduled the signup for Dolphin Stadium, but what are you going to do.

And yes, unfortunately, boxing gloves are required.

GET MORE COVERAGE LIKE THIS

Sign up for the This Week’s Top Stories newsletter to get the latest stories delivered to your inbox

Loading latest posts...