Fernando Villa, Half-Dressed Drunken Cop, Blamed His DUI on Old Baseball Injury

​Cops hear the stupidest excuses from people trying to get off the hook. Which is why it's surprising that Fernando Villa, the Miami-Dade police officer arrested Tuesday for allegedly falling asleep drunk behind the wheel of his squad car, couldn't come up with a better explanation for failing his roadside DUI test.

According to his arrest report, Villa blamed his sluggish responses on a concussion he suffered at least 13 years ago while playing high school baseball.

Did we mention he was half-naked when discovered asleep in the middle of an intersection?

Here's the arrest report's description of how Villa was caught. It's funnier than anything we could make up:

While on routine patrol, I observed marked police vehicle #2211A stopped southbound on SW 137th Ave. in the left turn lane. I stopped to check on the well being of the officer and found the (suspect) shirtless in a pair of cargo shorts. The (suspect) was unresponsive with his head tilted back. His foot was on the brake and the vehicle was in drive. I placed the vehicle in park and shut the motor off. I then attempted several times to get a response from the (suspect) by shaking him and shouting verbally.
When Villa finally awoke, he smelled of alcohol and failed roadside sobriety tests, the report continues.

Villa then refused to take further tests, explaining "he had had a major head injury (possible concussion) from playing ball in high school."

According to the report, Villa was taken to Miami-Dade's southern police station for DUI processing, although the Miami Herald reported he was controversially allowed to sign a promise-to-appear document and was taken home instead.

Check back for updates on Villa's bizarre and embarrassing arrest. The complete report is provided below.

Fernando Villa Arrest Affidavit

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Michael E. Miller was a staff writer at Miami New Times for five years. His work for New Times won many national awards, including back-to-back-to-back Sigma Delta Chi medallions. He now covers local enterprise for the Washington Post.