Drunk British Journalist Covers Election From Miami Because That's Where the Party Is

Riptide has taken notice of all the foreign press coverage of the election coming out of Miami, and while we know there's certainly a lot to cover down here, we wondered why foreign papers would choose to spend the money to send their writers down here above all other places in America. Apparently, it's because the foreigners just wanted to party on South Beach, and used Florida's status as a swing state as an excuse. At least, that's what British Journalists Adam Smith did.

A fellow Dutch journo caught Smith drunk and slumped over his laptop on South Beach and video taped him admitting to plagiarism, resigning from his job at The Birmingham Mail, and just generally being a dick.

"Shall I go to a swing state? I ain't going to go to Ohio am I? I'm going to say it, I'm going to Miami because that's where the party is," said Smith on how he decided how he'd cover the election, shortly before admitting plagiarism, "Thank God for the BBC, cause I'm copy and pasting. Oh, baby"

As for what he thinks of an Obama win? "I think he's brilliant, because I've meet so many women over here and it's brilliant"

Besides his drunken frat boy antics, Smith also displayed some classic journalist doucheness. The kind that may just be killing print.

"Online? It's not going to be online, it's going to be printed in papers. I'm a proper news journalist."

If being printed in newsprint is the real test of someone's journalistic medal, then the only people who are going to be considered actual journalists in ten years are the people who write the copy for coupon flyers.

"I'm a bit of an idiot. Simplton, basically. I'm a hard news journalist whose told readers when they read the copy, which I've copy pasted off the BBC."

Then Smith tells his bosses to fuck off, resigns, and promises to start his own magazine.

Smith, it's not a good time to start a magazine, but maybe you could find a magazine job down here and stay and party with all the women you've met. We'd suggest Ocean Drive. You'd probably fit in perfectly, but yknow.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

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Kyle Munzenrieder