NFL fans usually argue with one another over their teams' records. Failing that, they then argue that their team has better fans or prouder traditions than others. Usually, however, they don't argue about which team's fans have the best spelling and grammar. It turns out that's probably for the best for Dolphins fans.
Apparently, Fins fans have the third worst spelling and grammar in the league.
To reach that conclusion, the folks at Grammarly, an online proofreading service, chose 150 comments of 50 words or more from the news section of every team's official site and then ran those comments through their software. According to the Wall Street Journal, teams were ranked by the number of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors per 100 words.
It seems Dolphins fans don't have much to squeal about. We made 11.9 errors per 100 words. The only teams worse were the New Orleans Saints, whose fans averaged 12.4 errors per post, and the Washington Redskins, whose fans made 16.5 errors — but perhaps that's not a surprise for fans of a team whose name is no longer considered polite English.
That means Dolphins fans have the worst writing habits in the AFC East, but we can take some pleasure that the New England Patriots came in just behind us at fourth, with an average of 11.6 errors. Yes, fans in a region considered America's educational and intellectual cradle aren't much better with their elements of style than our city of immigrants.
The real surprise is that fans of the New York Jets actually had the fourth best writing in the league. Then again, it's hard to make many mistakes when you're simply writing "Fuck your mother! Fuck your mother!" over and over again.
We took a quick look at the Dolphins' news comment section. We didn't find any egregious errors, but apparently people are still quite angry with Jeff Ireland.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.