Sports

Did the Heat Tank Last Night on Purpose to Get the Number Two Seed?

We're number two! We're number two! The Miami Heat clinched the second seed in the Eastern Conference with last night's 114-93 loss to the Washington Wizards, a terrific feat for most teams, but not so much a reason to celebrate for your defending back-to-back NBA champions.

If resting LeBron James and Chris Bosh didn't tell you all you needed to know about the Miami Heat's priorities when it comes to seeding versus health, the Milwaukee Bucks-esque tanktastic level of play by their bench in the second-to-last game filled you in on the rest. They don't care about your silly seeding system. The fans might; they don't. They are totally over the foreplay.

See also: The Miami Heat Really Wants Second Place

While there are conspiracy theorists who seem to believe the team has actually been throwing games on the off chance teams of its liking fall perfectly in the Heat's path, that hasn't been the case. That's ridiculous. Those people are ridiculous. Last night, however -- if you're selling it, I'm buying it.

The Heat guys have found themselves in the oddly, possibly, maybe advantageous two-seed spot that matches them up with the Charlotte Bobcats in the first round and then the winner of a potential Wizards-Raptors series in the second, leaving the Pacers, Bulls, and Nets to beat themselves up on the opposite side.

Of course, there is still one game left for most teams after last night, so things can still change. For now, the Heat seems to have lucked out with the easier path. A few scenarios remain that would totally change the Heat's path, rendering the barbershop rumors of ultra-secret Area 51 plans to tank certain games meaningless:

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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.