Chickens, We're On To You

Alright. You know what this is. The oldest scam in the Miami books. A band of chickens comes into town (down from Arkansas, or up from Key West) loaded up on cocaine. They’re driving by this little house listening to their loud music, smoking their reefers.

And some poor bastard comes out and asks them to keep it down. So they kill him. They fucking kill him and eat him. They move right in and start getting his mail. Before long, they’ve assumed his identity and taken over the house.

After the neighbors get used to having them around and suspicion dies down, they try to sell and move on to the next town.

Luckily the housing bubble’s burst. And I’ve figured out their lil’ scheme. Don’t worry. I’ve tipped off the Feds and local cops. These chickens are gonna swing for this. --Calvin Godfrey

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >