Cheeseburgers and Drag Queens: Shelley Novak Experiments With a New Vibe

"It's gonna be a transvestite dictatorship," says old-school drag queen Shelley Novak. "This year, I'm running the show -- and all I need is a microphone and a spotlight."

She's talking about the 17th annual Shelley Novak Awards -- Miami Beach's queer equivalent of the Oscars --which has gotten back to its small-scale roots. When it comes to venues, Shelley says she ditched the big gay clubs for a low-key restaurant because she's sick of producers and management bogarting the creative control. (In past years producers switched winners' names and assigned obnoxious co-hosts.)

The awards now come to us in the form of a sit-down show at South Beach's Burger & Beer Joint. And Shelley sure knows how to plug it. "It's underground and punk rock because the absence of glamor makes it glamorous." Deejay Smeejay will spin records, semi-retired boy-in-dress Mother Kibble will make a comeback, and you can expect many, many puns about penis size. Show starts 10 p.m. Monday, March 8. Cover: $10.

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