4

Castro: Ruling Cuba With an Electric Worm

Isn't everyone getting sick of reading about every fucking phone call and gift-giving session that takes place between Castro and Chavez? Last time I checked, picking up a phone is not a sign of stable health.

If Fidel really wants to strike fear into the hearts of the American Military Industrial complex, he should put on that Adidas jumpsuit and do a helicopter spin. Or maybe he should get Evo and Hugo over to his place, give them matching jumpsuits, and then break into a leftist rendition of the Electric Slide. How confidence-inspiring would that be?

The American market would come crashing to its knees. China would stop its silly slide towards democracy and start a whole new Cultural Revolution... most likely a Dance, Dance revolution.

Continue Reading

Consider this a tip, Castro: drag a few pieces of cardboard into the Presidential basement, break out your old VHS tapes, and get crackin. Let's try and get some real news in the paper, okay? --Calvin Godfrey

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send: