Bill Nelson Will Filibuster the Hell out of Offshore Drilling

We don't even know why we're trying to meet our energy needs with oil anymore, when we all know if we could tap into the source that powers Sen. Bill Nelson, we'd be able to meet the global projected power needs for the next two centuries, at least. 

Bill Nelson is just that bad-ass. If you try to drill within ten miles of Florida's shores, Bill Nelson is just going to punch you and send you flying twice that distance. And if you don't like it, Bill Nelson says, "Well, that's how we settled things in space. When was the last time you were in space? Oh, right. Never." 

OK, Bill Nelson is now actually that bad-ass, but he's ready to pull some bad-ass parliamentary tools to stop a bill that would allow drilling ten miles of beaches in the panhandle. 

In 2006, an agreement was reached to keep drilling 125 miles off the panhandle and 300 miles off the shores of Naples. The Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee is now looking to reverse that and institute a measly 45-mile buffer zone and apparently allow drilling ten miles off some panhandle beaches. Nelson's "parliamentary tools" could involve a filibuster, where we assume he'd take the senators hostage and for days on end regale them with space stories (Nelson went to space once -- true story). 

Nelson also cites a 2005 letter from the defense department saying offshore drilling would be incompatible with military training, and Nelson doesn't want to risk "national security" or Florida's tourism industry. 

An industry flack said Nelson is inline with "7 percent of radical, left-wing environmentalists who are opposed to all offshore drilling."

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.