Once again, the Miami Dolphins had to pull unicorns and rainbows out their asses to keep from losing to a two-win team. But pull the magic from their bottoms they did, as they took down the hapless St. Louis Rams 16-12, for their seventh win of the season. Drive killing penalties, a stagnant running game, dropped passes, and another serious injury to a key player would kill any team's chances at winning a football game. Fortunately, the Rams are just a tad more inept than the Dolphins. So, bully for us!

This Dolphins team is a textbook case for winning ugly. Has been all season. But, in the NFL, any win goes a long way.  Yes, they play down to the shit-teams. Yes, we all wish they would just blow out said shit-teams by 30 points. Yes, it makes you want to drop kick an old man in the throat.  But, as infuriating as it can get, the Fins always seem to find a way to win these games. It's ass-faced ugly. But it's a win. Whereas last season, they had perfected the art of losing the closest of games, this season they're finding ways to bring home the victory. So it's all good. You have to look at these wins that way. What else can you do but two bag that hag and go to town?

Because Sometimes Winning Ugly Beats Not Winning At All

Putting a damper on the win, however, was the news that the Dolphins

lost a key offensive player to a season-ending injury for the

second-straight week. Last week, receiver Greg Camarillo suffered a

torn knee ligament. This week, Miami has lost talented guard Justin

Smiley for the season to a broken leg.

As for the rest of the offense, outside of Devone Bess stepping up for

a solid 85-yards receiving in place of Camarillo, the passing game was

on this side of craptastic. Chad Pennington completed less than 50

percent of his passes. Ted Ginn apparently still has a case of the

dropsies. The offensive line botched two snaps and was called for five

penalties. Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown combined for 102 yards and

one touchdown. David Martin is as useful as Chlamydia.

The defense, however, made up all that with three interceptions and

slowing down Steven Jackson. And at the end of the day, Marc Bulger was

held to just 149 yards passing.

But here's the best part: This win, coupled with the losses by both the

Patriots and Jets, means that the Dolphins hold their destiny in their

own hands. They win the remaining four games on their schedule, they

win the AFC East. At this point, it's their only path to the playoffs.

So if the Fins want to play in the post-season, they're going to have

to win out. Winning by blowing out teams. Winning ugly. Whatever. Just


-- Chris Joseph

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