Baby Bumps, Divorces, and Insanity: Nope, It's Not the Tabloids, It's the Florida Congressional Delegation

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Maybe I'm the only person, but I've long wanted someone to cover politicians and their every move in the same shallow, passionate manner as celebrities. Today is my chance! So I'll try to do my best Perez Hilton impression while wrapping up the bigger Florida political non-stories of the day.

  • Seems like someone took the celebration of their appointment to the Senate rather seriously, because Chrissy LeMieux, wife of accidental Senator Georgie has a bun in the oven. The couple is already halfway to Brangelina status with three sons. If it's another boy, methinks they should name it Charlie as a thank-you of sorts to the gov for the sweet Senate gig.
  • Blue Dog Democratic Congressman Allen Boyd is in the doghouse with his wife. The two have separated after nearly 40 years of marriage. Ruh-roh! Cissy Boyd previously filed for divorce in '97, the same year her hubby took office, but they reconciled.
  • Another Florida Dem congressman, Alan Grayson, went pretty much bonkers on the House floor the other day, saying Republicans want us all to "die quickly." He was basically a hot liberal mess who is not apologizing for it. Silly Grayson, everyone knows Republicans have the trademark on insane partisan hyperbole. Nancy Pelosi basically told everyone to shut up about it, but she might want to keep an eye on Grayson. We don't want him shaving his head and throwing an umbrella at Chuck Grassley's SUV.

My apologies for that.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.