Flotsam

Art Basel: 25 Reasons We're Glad It's Over

Look, there's no denying that Art Basel is the best thing to happen to Miami since cocaine. The money, the buzz, the makeover to the city's image, blah blah blah. We know. We love it, and we'll be excited for it all over again next year. But in the meantime, we're sending a bitter au revoir to those crazy artsos that descended on our town, put their feet on our couch, chugged all of our orange juice, dipped our cat in mayonnaise, and then tried to sell her for $58,000. It will sure be nice to have the place to ourselves again.

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Gus Garcia-Roberts