Allen West could soon become the first sitting U.S. congressman with ties to a white racist biker gang (well, at least since Sen. Dirtbeard Jones [R-Penn] back in '46). It's all the more remarkable considering that West -- who's four points ahead of Rep. Ron Klein in his Broward and Palm Beach district -- is black.
Democrats have hammered the retired Army lieutenant colonel for hanging with the Outlaws -- a motorcycle club notorious for running meth rings -- and for writing columns for Wheels on the Road, a racy biker mag run by a tough named Miami Mike.
Allen begs to differ, but why is he running from his biker bros? Voters love them! And frankly, these guys are just the kind of change America needs. So to help West prepare for his transition to D.C., we've filled his new cabinet with fellow columnists from Wheels on the Road.
Minority and Women's Issues: Willy Woo. The gray-bearded rider has a sweet white boa constrictor around his neck in his columnist profile. He'll crush these thorny PC problems like a ravenous snake.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.