Here are Miami New Times's suggestions for the cadaver:
1. Use him in a campaign ad for the strong-mayor initiative. The slogan: "What Fidel did for Cuba, Carlos Alvarez can do for Miami."
2. Lay him out, cover him in plastic, and rent him for $2000 per hour as a beach chair at the Delano.
3. Drop him at Elián's relatives' house and call it an even swap.
4. Shoot a movie, Weekend at Fidel's, in which two Miami geeks discover the old man's body in a beach house and then set out on a bender including a blow-up Paris Hilton doll.
5. Prop him in the concourse at Dolphin Stadium for a Marlins game and see if attendance finally tops 10,000.