4

A Celebration of Sausage

(Insert joke here.)

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

I recently attended a sausage party. Literally.

Guests were encouraged to bring over all manner of meats and spices —anything they would like to see in sausage form. The event mainly involved staring intently at a pink output of ground meat, and making poorly timed jokes.

The winner was a Japanese biotechnical engineer named Nagimitsu.

Bystander: Nagy, have you ever had Japanese sausage? They're really good.

Nagy: Yes. Small and hard.

Before long, the awkwardness of the whole thing had blown over and everyone was standing around, mesmerized, in a cooperative effort to stuff and tie-off pound after pound of meat.

Thankfully no assholes and lips were employed in the making of these sausages. Collagen casings spared us the gross awareness of stuffing an animal's ground flesh back into its stomach.

Still, if the unifying force in this universe turns out to be anything but a bearded dude (particularly a cow or a pig), anyone who has ever eaten a sausage is surely going to hell.

Nevertheless, the resulting sausages (Andouille, Bratwurst, Chorizo, and Pear & Cognac) were sublimely delicious. All those interested in making their own sausages should check out this 138-page series of sausage recipes, including three for Scrapple, sausage's ugly cousin. -Calvin Godfrey

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.