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You Don't Know Minogue! A Four-Part Primer on the Aussie Pop Diva

​You may remember the beautiful Kylie Minogue from her dance club hit "Can't Get You Out of My Head" that didn't get out of your head till the late Aughts. And maybe you heard somewhere that this lady just battled and beat breast cancer's ass. You may also know that...
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​You may remember the beautiful Kylie Minogue from her dance club hit "Can't Get You Out of My Head" that didn't get out of your head till the late Aughts. And maybe you heard somewhere that this lady just battled and beat breast cancer's ass.



You may also know that the Australian goddess was a child actress and a soap star in the land down under. And her first single, a remake of the classic dance song "Locomotion," was the highest selling single of the Aussie '80s.



But the things you don't know about this pop maven could fill a freaking book. So here's a brie four-part primer in order to prepare for her upcoming show at the BankAtlantic Center this Saturday.




4. Across the Sea

She's famous everywhere that isn't America. When we say famous, we mean really freaking famous. She's like the Euro-Australian version of Madonna before Madonna became a scary, skinny Kabbalah lady. British media is always investigating the inner life and past of the fancy singer. As often as she's in the spotlight in America, she's never out of the spotlight overseas.





3. It's a Family Affair

She has a sister who's equally popular. Dannii Minogue is a style icon in her homeland of Australia thanks to her stint as a judge and mentor on the fourth season of The X Factor. She's also a former soap opera star and a singer whose career peaked in the late '90s and early Aughts. She's also a babe and a television and radio personality.





2. Sex Magnet

Kylie's always got some young hot dude on her arm. At 42 years old, Minogue still looks like a totally fresh-faced babe. Her videos and stage shows are littered with the sexiest backup dancers. She's dated Spanish model Andres Velencoso, James Gooding, and actor Olivier Martinez. Martinez is the guy from Unfaithful who's also dated Halle Berry, Michelle Rodriguez, and Juliette Binoche -- not to mention Mira Sorvino, which is funny because Minogue's tour is Kylie Aphrodite like the Woody Allen movie Mighty Aphrodite that won Sorvino an Oscar.





1. Gay, Gay, Gay

Ms. Minogue had a "gay husband." The gays love Madame Minogue, and we can assume this is in part because of the good works of her bestie and stylist William Baker. For eleven years, he put the glamorous garb on the glamorous girl. Their love was strong, and he even coauthored Kylie's book La La La. Then they broke up. A best friend breakup with a gay is honestly 1,000 times more traumatic than one with a straight man, since the straight man has so much less to offer. Here's hoping for a reunion.



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