Splish, splash, and uhntz-uhntz.
Every year, when Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week come 'round, picking the right H2O bash to show off that cute "I'm in Miami, Bitch!" bikini and matching shades can be a daunting task.
Luckily, we at New Times have taken many trips to the deep end. And we've survived the wettest of 'em all. So our word is as good as the lifeguard's when we say: Here are the ten best pool parties to dive into this WMC and MMW.
Big Beat Pool Party. As part of Miami Music Week Hotel. With Cash Cash, Hercules & Love Affair (DJ set), Clean Bandit (DJ set), Galantis, and others. Presented by Diskolab. 2 to 11 p.m. Thursday, March 26, at Delano Hotel, 1685 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-672-2000; delano-hotel.com. Tickets cost $40 to $50 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. If big beats make the biggest splashes, the Big Beat Pool Party is gonna start a South Beach tsunami when NYC's Cash Cash, Andy Butler and his Hercules & Love Affair neo-disco collective, Clean Bandit, Galantis, and their label mates take over the Delano.
All Gone Pete Tong Pool Party. With Pete Tong, Deep Dish, Duke Dumont, Hot Since 82, Andhim, and others. Noon to 11 p.m. Thursday, March 26, at Surfcomber Hotel, 1717 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-7715; surfcomber.com. Tickets cost $80 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. As a DJ, producer, and the host of BBC Radio 1's Essential Mix and Essential Selection, Pete Tong is nothing short of legendary. And for this year's edition of his WMC and MMW pool party, Mr. Tong will be joined by legends like Deep Dish and rising dance music stars like Duke Dumont, Hot Since 82, Andhim, and Disciples. So let's just say things are gonna get Pete Tong, but in a good way.
Do Not Sit by the Pool. With Behrouz, Lee Burridge, Alexi Delano, and others. Noon to 10:30 p.m. Thursday, March 26, at Albion Hotel, 1650 James Ave., Miami Beach; 305-913-1000; rubellhotels.com. Tickets cost $30 to $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. We love South Beach nightspot Do Not Sit on the Furniture. It's definitely one of the five best underground clubs in Miami. But still, wouldn't it be waaaaaay better if there were swimming facilities and beach balls? Well, co-owner Behrouz must have finally read those notes that we left in the Don't Sit suggestion box.
Mood Day Pool Party. With Nicole Moudaber, Victor Calderone, Green Velvet, Marino Canal, Francisco Allendes, Tom Peters, and others. Noon to 10 p.m. Thursday, March 26, at Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-6300; raleighhotel.com. Tickets cost $40 to $55 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. When the Queen of Techno throws a pool party, one should expect to spend the evening like rave royalty. So don that inflatable crown, do the techno waltz, and make way for Nicole Moudaber as she reigns over the Raleigh for Mood Day.
Dim Mak Miami Beach Party. With 3 Are Legend, Benny Benassi, Borgore, and others. Noon to 5 a.m. Thursday, March 26, at Nikki Beach, 1 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-538-1111; nikkibeach.com. Tickets cost $65 to $75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Front kicks and foot stomps — those are the moves you'll have to master if you want to survive the lethal attack of 3 Are Legend, Benny Benassi, Borgore, and the rest of the Dim Mak crew. With beats as intense as the deadly martial arts practice of the same name, partiers better come prepared for an epic 17-hour dance battle. Consider yourself warned.
Sweat It Out! Pool Party. With Destructo, What So Not, Amine Edge & Dance, Yolanda Be Cool, and others. Presented by Red Rabbit. Noon to 10 p.m. Friday, March 27, at Shelborne Wyndham Grand South Beach, 1801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-1271; shelborne.com. Tickets cost $25 to $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Sad you can't buy tix to pool party it up with the Hard Miami crew at the ultra-exclusive Red Bull Guest House? Stop sulking, squeeze into your tightest swimsuit, and Sweat It Out! with Hard founder Destructo, Australian banger makers What So Not, and a dozen other water wing-wearing party pros.
Axtone Presents: Miami 2015. With Axwell, Amtrac, Deniz Koyu, Kryder, Tom Staar, Chocolate Puma, Shapov, and others. Noon to 11 p.m. Friday, March 27, at Surfcomber Hotel, 1717 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-7715; surfcomber.com. Tickets cost $85 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. His Swedish House Mafia days may be over, but DJ/producer Axwell is hustlin' harder than ever, hoping to re-create SHM's Grammy-nominated success with his own label, Axtone Records. Founded in 2005, the former mafioso's imprint has released music by more than 50 dance acts, including superstars like Eric Prydz and Laidback Luke. Among the mono-monikered boss' other soon-to-be-achieved ambitions: throwing an epic WMC and MMW pool party.
Nervous Pool Party. With Josh Wink, Kevin Saunderson, Oscar G, Ralph Falcon, and surprise guests. Presented by Nervous Records. Noon. Friday, March 27, at Fifty at the Viceroy Hotel, 485 Brickell Ave., Miami; 305-503-4400; viceroyhotelandresorts.com. Tickets cost $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Couldn't snag a pair of tix to rave with Tiësto, Carl Cox, and Avicii at this year's Ultra Music Festival? Well, why not pool-party with house legends Josh Wink, Kevin Saunderson, Oscar G, Ralph Falcon, and Nervous Records' "surprise guests" while looking down on UMF from 50 floors above the ground. Bonus: underwater fist-pumping. Take that, Ultra.
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Reload Pool Parties. With AN21, Crazibiza, EC Twins, and others. Noon to 8 p.m. Friday, March 27, and Saturday, March 28, at Shore Club Hotel, 1901 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-3100; morganshotelgroup.com. Single-day tickets cost $60 and two-day passes cost $100 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Your search for an "uplifting, exciting, and vibrant pool party" is over. Welcome to Reload, where a couple thousand dance fans are about to get all jacked up on the positive vibes of AN21, EC Twins, Crazibiza, and 48 hours of wet 'n' wild fun.
Cedric Gervais' My House Pool Party. With Nervo, Sharam, CID, Dizzy, Investo, Kryder, Michael Brun, Shift K3y, Tom Staar, and others. Noon to 10 p.m. Saturday, March 28, at Raleigh Hotel, 1775 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-6300; raleighhotel.com. Tickets cost $40 to $55 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Miami's Cedric Gervais may live in Biscayne Point, but have you ever wondered about his second Magic City home? Well, it's the Raleigh, of course. That's why the Grammy-winning DJ-producer is inviting you and hundreds of his closest friends to the South Beach hotel for his My House poolside fete. Expect lots of Veuve Clicquot and Vin de France. Sure, it sounds pretty classy for a half-nude pool party, but that's just how Frenchmen from the 305 do Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week.