Go, raver. Go, raver. Go.
Chug a Red Bull. Down a vial of Five-Hour elixir. Pop a packet of Jelly Belly energy beans.
The Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week marathon starts now. And it doesn't end till next month.
Here are the 20 best parties during WMC and MMW 2014.
See also: WMC and MMW 2014: A 282-Party Guide
Visionquest Presents Super Pleasures. With Matthew Dear, Ryan Crosson, Lee Curtiss, Shaun Reeves, Alexi Delano, and DJ Three. 11 p.m. Friday, March 21, at Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-614-4478; treehousemiami.com. Tickets cost $25 to $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Party week in Miami is a lot like the traditional rite of passage that involves wandering into the wilderness, and then depriving oneself of essentials like food and sleep. So why not begin your journey into the clubs with Matthew Dear and Visionquest, the Detroit-based dance music crew that parties every day in the spirit of the search, the pursuit, the new discovery.
Behrouz's Do Not Sit on the Furniture Showcase. 10 p.m. Friday, March 21, at Do Not Sit on the Furniture, 423 16th St., Miami Beach; 305-450-3809; facebook.com/DoNotSit. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Out-of-towners (and even most locals) have yet to set foot inside Do Not Sit on the Furniture, the new South Beach club from Miami-via-San-Francisco DJ-producer Behrouz and Electric Pickle co-owner Will Renuart. It's a cozy underground joint with -- according to Mr. B and Will -- a strict "no bullshit" policy. Go get a tour from the Do Not Sit dudes themselves. And leave the bratty club-kid crap at home.
Cedric Gervais. With Deniz Koyu and Cid. 11 p.m. Wednesday, March 26, at LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $40 to $90 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. It's been a big year for Monsieur Cedric Gervais. Originally from France, he's been DJing South Beach clubs ever since crashing onto these subtropical shores as a teenager in '98. So when Cedric snatched up the Best Remixed Recording (Non-Classical) award at this year's Grammy for his version of Lana Del Rey's "Summertime Sadness," all Miami party people embraced it as a much-deserved win for a hometown garçon. We actually plan to give him a congratulatory hug in the DJ booth. If, you know, we can convince the bouncers that Cedric and us go way, way, way back.
See also: South Beach's Ten Best Dance Clubs
Nick Curly Presents Trust Miami. With Matt Tolfrey, Subb-an, Kevin Saunderson, Shaun Reeves, Jozif, Bloody Mary, Nitin, and others. 10 p.m. Wednesday, March 26, at Electric Pickle, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-456-5613; electricpicklemiami.com. Tickets cost $15 to $20 plus fees via residentadvisor.net. Have faith in Nick Curly. Dude's basically never put on a boring club bash. And recently, the 8bit Records boss even decided to step up his event-planning game with Trust, an international series of carefully curated nights. Now along with pals like Leftroom label head Matt Tolfrey and techno legend Kevin Saunderson, Nick is about to pop into Miami's Electric Pickle in the hope of lending further credence to their claims of integrity and effectiveness in the realm of the party arts.
See also: Downtown Miami's Five Best Dance Clubs
Remembrance Festival. With Bingo Players, Dada Life, and others. 10 p.m. Thursday, March 27, at Ice Palace Studios, 1400 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets via wantickets.com. A portion of proceeds will benefit the late Paul Baümer's preferred charity, KWF Kankerbestrijding (Dutch Cancer Society), as well the American Cancer Society. Ages 21 and up. Not every trip to the nightclub needs to be a rager. Sometimes, it's better to take a few hours and "celebrate the memory of those that have passed," as the organizers of the Remembrance Festival fundraiser say, "and the life we thankfully still have." This particular moment of rare clubby contemplativeness has been organized in honor of the late Paul Baümer, one-half of DJ-production duo Bingo Players, who succumbed to cancer at the end of last year. But it is also dedicated (and will benefit) many other people "dealing with cancer on a daily basis."
Steve Angello's #Decade. Presented by Size Records. 4 p.m. Thursday, March 27, at RC Cola Plant, 550 NW 24th St., Miami. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 18 and up. When Steve Angello and his Swedish House Mafia bros decided to dissolve their supersuccessful big-room EDM partnership, perhaps you thought that the Size Records founder would abandon his and SHM's tradition of staging outlandishly one-night parties in unlikely locales. (We refer mainly to those three Masquerade Motels in three years, which took place under an enormous tent in Midtown Miami, on the sands of South Beach, and even amid the urban wilds of Grand Central Park.) But yes, Angello returns again. And this time, he's set to "make history" by throwing the first-ever rave at Wynwood's long-vacant RC Cola Plant. Party of the #Decade. Obviously.
Jamie Jones Presents Paradise Miami. With Seth Troxler, Guy Gerber, Lee Foss, Eats Everything, Dyed Soundorom, and others. 10 p.m. to 10 a.m. Thursday, March 27, at Ice Palace Studios, 1400 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $50 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Who knew that Eden looked a hell of a lot like downtown Miami? Well, Hot Creations label head Jamie Jones seems to have spotted the resemblance straight away. And now for the second consecutive year, he's bringing his traveling Paradise party to the concrete gardens of N. Miami Avenue. There will be lots of DJs. No apples or snakes.
Ultramajic Party Temple. With Boys Noize, Danny Daze, Jimmy Edgar, Louisahhh!!!, Matrixxman, and others. Presented by Embrace and Safe. 10 p.m. Thursday, March 27, at Trade, 1439 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-6666; trademia.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Planning to throw a smirkingly occult techno seance during Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week? Get set up in a Treehouse on the beach. Hire electro wizard Boys Noize, dance-floor dazzler Jimmy Edgar, and Miami's own techno spellcaster Danny Daze. Start the cauldron cooking. Oh yeah. Abracadabra. Awesome.
Mau5trap vs. Pryda. With "special gue5tz." 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. Thursday, March 27, at the Pop-Up Arena at Ice Palace Studios, 18 NW 14th St., Miami. Tickets cost $60 to $80 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Break out your Mau5heads and track suits. Because, unless Mau5trap big cheese Deadmau5 and Pryda main man Eric Prydz are real jerks, they will be the so-called "special gue5tz" hyped as headliners for this co-label showcase in the whimsically named Pop-Up Arena at Ice Palace Studios. And don't worry -- if the King Rat pulls a trick and sends a doppelganger rodent gue5t, we'll help y'all spring the trap.
Skrillex & Friends. With GTA, Sluggers, and others. 11 p.m. Friday, March 28, at Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $100 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. We suggest it's time to go bang your head with the foremost practitioner of heavy party music. His name is Sonny "Skrillex" Moore. His haircut is excellent. And yes, you already know him. But the Grammy winner is only one-third of the reason for the recommendation. The other two-thirds are GTA and Sluggers, a couple of Miami's most devastating club crushers.
See also: Ten Reasons to Not Hate Skrillex
The Fifth Annual Fixed. With Scuba, Psychemagik, Jackmaster, Tensnake, Tiger & Woods, Juan Maclean, and others. 10 p.m. Friday, March 28, at The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami; 305-379-0508; thevagabondmiami.com. Tickets cost $20 to $25 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Almost a decade of professional partying -- that's called stamina. Since 2005, New York City's JDH and Philly's Dave P have been throwing Fixed bashes in cities all 'round the globe. And this year's WMC and MMW marks the Fixed bros' five-year anniversary at downtown Miami mainstay The Vagabond. And they aren't about to stop. They're not even tired yet.
I'm a House Gangster. With Josh Wink, DJ Sneak, Oscar G, Felix Da Housecat, Kenny Dope, Doc Martin, Ramon Tapia, and Jesse Perez. Presented by I'm a House Gangster and Basshead Music. 8 p.m. to 5 a.m. Friday, March 28, at Clevelander Hotel, 1020 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-532-4006; clevelander.com. Tickets cost $25 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Real gangsters ain't no fun. But house gangsters just wanna have a good time. So when this SoBe meet got set for WMC and MMW, we doled out some celebratory fist-bumps. Then we learned that old-school Miami head Oscar G, straight-up 305er Jesse Perez, and a clique of legit club OGs would be handling stereo system duties. Our thug mug actually cracked. We almost smiled.
See also: Miami's 25 Best Electronic Music Acts
Annie Mac Presents. With Cajmere, Skream, Jacques Greene, Gorgon City, and others. 10 p.m. Friday, March 28, at LMNT, 55 NW 36th St., Miami; 305-572-9007; lmntartsmiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Wait, it's possible to become a star by hosting a public radio show? Sure, if you live in the United Kingdom. We joke, but that's precisely how, like John Peel and Pete Tong before her, the BBC's Annie Mac became an enormously influential music-scene trendsetter. Now Ms. Mac drops superpopular mixes, shows up on the telly, even tours the world throwing parties. And they tried to tell us that radio was dead.
Miami Massive: Future Sound of Breaks. With UZ, Figure, Crizzly, Flux Pavilion, Crystal Method, Juan Basshead, and others. 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. Friday, March 28, at Mekka, 950 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-371-3773; mekkamiami.com. Tickets cost $50 to $70 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 18 and up. The streets of Miami have always rumbled. Whether we're talking 2 Live Crew's booty jams or the latest, electronic iteration of instrumental trap, our city's party people love that bass music. So it's only natural that the Future Sound of Breaks would go Miami Massive for its 12th anniversary edition during WMC and MMW. Go get shook by perpetually incognito "real trap shit" producer UZ, the 305's own Juan Basshead, and dozens of other low-enders.
Maya Jane Coles & Friends. With Kim Ann Foxman, J. Phlip, and Lauren Flax. Presented by Embrace, Safe, and Liaison Artists. 10 p.m. Friday, March 28, at Cafeina, 297 NW 23rd St., Miami; 305-438-0792; cafeinamiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Too often, the DJ booth looks like a tiny conference room where this year's bro convention has gathered to triumphantly fist-pump. But when an all-female crew crashes the decks at Wynwood's Cafeina, the selektor wearing a flat-bill lid will probably be English underground star Maya Jane Coles. Or Dirtybird member J.Phlip. Or Hercules and Love Affair's Kim Ann Foxman. Or trip-hop house producer Lauren Flax.
Fool's Gold Miami 2014. With A-Trak, Nick Catchdubs, Tchami, Gladiator, Loudpvck, Destructo, and others. 10 p.m. Friday, March 28, at Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Admission is free with RSVP via foolsgoldrecs.com/miami. Ages 18 and up. In the words of the Fool's Gold Records mascot: If it shines like the real thing, then it is the real thing. So pop in a set of pyrite grills, send an RSVP email to label founders A-Trak and Nick Catchdubs, and strut over to downtown Miami's Grand Central for WMC and MMW 2014's best free party. This ain't no counterfeit shit.
See also: WMC and MMW 2014's Ten Best Pool Parties
Richie Hawtin Presents Enter.Miami. With Paco Osuna, Tale of Us, Tini, Apollonia, Gaiser, and others. 10 p.m. to 10 a.m. Friday, March 28, at Ice Palace Studios, 1400 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $70 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. As an especially astute practitioner of minimal techno and the mastermind behind M-nus Records, Canadian DJ, producer, and visionary Richie Hawtin can sometimes seem like a superserious dude. But even though he's definitely a no-nonsense kind of guy in certain ways, the Plastikman also loves to party! Just take his Enter. concept, originally launched in Ibiza, connecting "many of the things that I love: music, technology, Japanese sake, art, entertainment and design." Can you say kanpai?
Boys Noize's BNR Showcase. With Dog Blood (Boys Noize and Skrillex), Jimmy Edgar, Spank Rock, and others. 10 p.m. Saturday, March 29, at LMNT, 55 NW 36th St., Miami; 305-572-9007; lmntartsmiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Remember when a quick taste of Boys Noize and Skrillex's Dog Blood collabo project would've cost $500? Well, that was last year during Ultra Music Festival. Now you can spend the whole evening with Mr. Noize and Skrill -- howling at the moon and gargling the hot, red stuff -- for only a couple of crumpled Hamiltons. And no doubt, that's the kind of deal at which even the most feral raver would approvingly flash his fangs.
See also: WMC and MMW 2014's Ten Best EDM Cruises
Borgore & Friends. With Bassjackers, D.O.D., Ookay, Kennedy Jones, and two "extra special guests." 10 p.m. Saturday, March 29, at Space (Main Room), 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-375-0001; clubspace.com. Tickets cost $30 to $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Widely recognized as Israel's premier party boy, Borgore specializes in the kind of dubstep, trap, and house that gets the shiksas shakin' ass. And yes, he's even hit the studio with America's tongue-wagging twerk princess, Miley Cyrus. But for these WMC and MMW shenanigans, the Tel Aviv-based bro seems to be relying almost solely on his Buygore Records crew. Of course, there are those "extra special guests." So maybe Miley will actually show up, snickering 'bout how "bitches love cake."
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Deep Dish. With Carl Craig, Hot Since 82, and Andhim. 10 p.m. Saturday, March 29, at Ice Palace, 1400 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $50 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and over. Visit deepdish.com. This is the end. And duh, dude -- there's no more epic way to wind up your WMC and MMW marathon than with a legitimately historic EDM event. Obviously, we are referring to the reunion of Sharam and Dubfire as Deep Dish. The duo's "countdown to Miami" has officially concluded. But the uhntz-uhntz will last forever.
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