Music News

Vince Neil Falls at His Vegas Strip Club: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

Vince Neil performing at his new Vegas strip club and singing Mötley Crüe songs about hot slutty babes sounds like the most greasy, redundant spectacle since The Gathering of the Juggalos.

Nevertheless, this past weekend, Mr. Neil indeed launched a Sin City adult entertainment complex that follows this exact model.

We here at Crossfade wonder why any ostensibly heterosexual man would want to go to a strip club where the main attraction is the middle-aged singer from an '80s hair metal band. But then again ... Dudes will fuck anything that moves.

And while the thought of Vince Neil's cabaret gives us goosepimples, the thought of him eating it -- that is, unintentionally falling with a mighty oomph! -- sounds like the kind of thing we're willing to pay V.I.P. prices for.

0:02 - 0:04

The Crüe's "Girls Girls Girls" blares while a bevy of norm guidettes lazily fist-pump. Welcome to the Age of the Internet, where entertainment is rated according to how "Not Boring" it is. As in, how "Not Boring" is Vince Neil? The answer, of course, being extremely not "Not Boring."

0:07 - 0:10

And he's off! Man, that Vince Neil is a wild and crazy guy. Maybe all of that plastic surgery really gave him the confidence boost that he was looking for.

0:11 - 0:14
Ah, yes, The Fall. And we're not just talking about Vince Neil's completely hilarious backwards belly-flop. (Which, BTW, is the funniest celebrity tumble we've seen in a while.) We're also talking about The Fall of Modern Man. A moment comparable to Adam, Eve, and The Snake, only sub out sin and free will, and sub in TMZ and titty bars. If you haven't already asked yourself "WTF am I doing with my life?" we suggest you take a good, long, hard look in the iPhoto preview window.

0:15 - 0:18

Despite being the absolute embodiment of ass-hat buffoonery, Vince Neil's reverse swan dive is rewarded with (a presumably roofied) woman slathering her face all up-and-around the vocalist's crotch.

0:20 - 0:22

But even this lady gets bored because ... C'mon, we're talking about Vince Neil. Not even Tommy Lee or Nikki fucking Sixx. We're talking about Vince Neil at his own corny-ass Vegas strip club. Why don't you give us a call when Bieber gets impaled by a stiletto at Take One Lounge?

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Matt Preira