Can you think of anything less arousing than Girls, Girls, Girls, a Vegas strip club where Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil runs around like a horny lil' piggy smearing his fake tan all over the highly plasticized entertainers and pausing every so often to fall flat on his majorly Botox-ed kisser?
Sure, Neil the Horny Hog armed with a supersoaker filled with SoBe Tan by Fabiola and a cadre of Sin City strippers on his arm sounds completely disgusting.
But try, if you dare, to keep your lunch down after learning that the most meme-able actor alive, Nicolas Cage, was Vince's special guest at Girls this weekend. So far, so good? Just wait till you see these five grossest pics from the party.
This pic just screams #PlatinumEscorts. Sure, Vince can probably cash in on some 40-plus groupies. But what about the hairy-palmed mouthbreather sitting next to him? Do you think that man has ever not paid for sex?
If the two subjects in this photograph had thought bubbles above their heads, The blonde's would read, "I need to up my rates," while Vince Neil's would be a Hipstamatic picture of titties covered in so much cocaine they look like powdered donuts.
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Every dime Vince Neil makes off his club goes right back into financing the appearance that he could possibly be an object of desire for an attractive hetereosexual woman.
Seriously. Are women who look like that going to be hanging out with guys who look like that? And smiling? Those grins are so toothy, only because they're the best that a gross asshole with money can buy.
Here it is ... The photo you've all been waiting for. Why you've been waiting for it, we can't tell you. Even Nic Cage looks miserable.