"Yo, VIP," and also general admission peeps, "Let's kick it!"
That's right ... New Times' Brew at the Zoo is back with a brand-new announcement.
For the 2014 edition of our annual sudsy romp at Zoo Miami, we've enlisted Vanilla Ice to "rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle" as the musical headliner for Miami's largest beer festival.
After all, we too live by Mr. Ice's oft-repeated motto: "Anything less than the best is a felony."
We all recall when, during the summer of 1990, Vanilla urged the world to "check out the hook while my DJ revolves it" and sold ten million records in four months as the pop charts went "Ice Ice Baby" crazy.
He was "cookin' MCs like a pound of bacon." He was dancing with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And he was inspiring white boys everywhere to hairspray their frosted blond locks into pristine flattop fades.
These days, Mr. Ice is rocking more of Motocross look. But he's still keeping it Vanilla.
He's got his own home-improvement TV show, The Vanilla Ice Project, on the DIY Network. And he's continued dropping new music, like 2011's WTF - Wisdom, Tenacity & Focus, with an untitled 2014 album slated for release via Insane Clown Posse's Psychopathic Records.
Lately, he's made movie cameos in flicks from ICP's Big Money Hustlas and Adam Sandler's That's My Boy. He's won Wellington, Florida's Outstanding Citizen of the Year award. And he's even scored an endorsement deal with Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, big-upping delicious Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shapes.
On May 3, though, Mr. Ice will be back on the scene in Miami, "my town," as he says, "that created all the bass sound," for New Times' Brew at the Zoo 2014.
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There will be classic jams, endless beer, and wild animals of both the human and zoological varieties. So "stop, collaborate, and listen," buy some tix, hairspray that fade, and practice the Vanilla shuffle.
Word to your mother.
Vanilla Ice. As part of Brew at the Zoo. Presented by Miami New Times. Saturday, May 3. Zoo Miami, 12400 SW 152nd St., Miami. Doors open at 8 p.m. and tickets cost $35 to $75 plus fees via ticketfly.com. Use promo code PREZOO5 to purchase tickets from 10 a.m. on Tuesday, March 4, till Sunday, March 9. Ages 21 and up.