Once ridiculed as the hilariously embarrassing accessory of choice for fat American tourists, the fanny pack is now a practical piece of party gear for hot, young EDM fanatics.
At music fests such as Miami's Ultra, it has become a ubiquitous carry-all for scantily clad ravers with no pockets. Easy, versatile, convenient -- as pouch enthusiast Andrina (pictured above) ecstatically exclaims: "What isn't in my fanny pack!"
Now, there are those alarmists who insist that every fanny pack must be stuffed with nefarious paraphernalia. But speaking to the owners of these belly bags at Ultra 2014, we simply discovered items like pacifiers, Vicks, "glow-in-the-dark shit" ...
"The fanny pack is a festival essential," says Kay Steele, a veteran of Tomorrowland, Tomorrowworld, and Electric Daisy Carnival who happens to be enjoying her very first Ultra Music Festival.
And what's in your fanny pack, Ms. Steele? "I gotta have my cigarettes, ChapStick, lighter, gum, glasses, ID, and cash. Basically, everything I need!"
But not only is Kay rocking the latest in raver fashion with this neon pink number, she's also repping her homegirls in Tallahassee.
"I go to FSU. And this fanny's flashing Zeta, my sorority's name."
"Obviously, a guy's gotta come prepared," shrugs fanny packer Hendo, who's apparently got a ton of crap to carry since he's also toting a Pikachu backpack.
"There's a cell phone, wallet, money, just all the random stuff that you need to survive out here."
Digging deeper, though, Hendo finds a few other goodies: "Oh! Some Vicks for the nose and chewing gum."
He'd also like to mention that his fanny pack is a vintage piece. "It's literally Bugle Boy! It had the tag and everything! I saw it on eBay! And I was so pumped! Like, 'Oh, yessssss!'"
See also: Ultra 2014's Ten Sleaziest T-Shirts
"I've got pockets, but they're not very good pockets," Lisa admits. "And I've got a bra, but bras don't really help."
And that's why a young lady needs a high-quality fanny pack, in which to hold her "cigs, reflective glasses, and lighter."
But one of the drawbacks of the belly bag, as Lisa's friend Rachel points out, is its tendency to "flop around my stomach when a girl is just trying to dance."
Still, the fanny is a fine option. "It holds everything that you're gonna need to have fun, smoke something, and protect your eyes."
In response to any attack on fanny packs' effectiveness as a personal storage solution, Marie scoffs, "Well, if you try to use pockets, when you dance, everything comes out!"
Now on her sixth trip to Ultra land, she knows that keeping your junk in order is everything.
But what exactly is she toting 'round? "Aquaphor ointment, some trippy sticks, money, my ID, and lipstick."
Because, she purrs, "You gotta stay looking gooooood and feeling gooooood."
Meet Jenny, she's so comfortable with fanny pack livin' that she arrived at Ultra 2014 in a pair of shimmery aqua lamé shorts and a Little Mermaid sports bra -- which means no pockets of any kind.
"My PARTY kit takes care of everything," she says, all confident. "I got sealed cigarettes, two lighters, my tickets, a pacifier, a phone charger, and a hair brush."
That's a lot of stuff, girl.
"But you need it! I'm saving the smokes for when I'm stressed. There's no way my phone's gonna die. And I gotta brush my hair for the hot guys," she laughs.
How about the binky? "Oh, my friend's got a baby."
These best buddies, Chad (AKA Magical Mother Fucker) and Chloe Christie (AKA Daisy Goddess), actually took a shopping trip to find the perfect pair of matching fanny packs.
"We went to the mall and spent hours looking till it closed," he says.
"And," she adds, "we spent a lot of money!"
Now, when it comes to the actual packing of his fanny, Chad prefers to keep it simple. "I just have my phone, a charger, and money."
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But Chloe Christie loads that lil' pink puppy up. "I have all that stuff too. Plus, contacts and lipstick. Oh, and extra knee-length socks, just in case these ones get wet."
Forget anything? "Food!" they scream. "You know, like chocolate or pizza."
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