Audio By Carbonatix
Gay, straight, bi, or simply rolling face, if you’re a man with abs like Jesus and just enough fabric to cover your genitals, there’s nothing wrong with sporting a little male camel in Miami this weekend.
It’s Ultra Music Festival, baby! And the Gym, Tan, Molly fraternal order of male ravers are loud, proud, and hanging ’round in their Diesel underpants, Umbro soccer shorts, and furry boots.
Here are the top ten (almost) naked raver bros at Ultra 2013.
See also:
–Ten Raver Tips on How to Dress for Ultra 2013
–Ultra 2013: Yeasayer Insulted the Ravers While Matt & Kim Charmed Them
–Ultra Music Festival 2013, Weekend One, Day Two: The 91-Photo Slideshow
–Top Ten at Ultra 2013, Day Two: Deadmau5, Molly, and Nobody F#$%ed a Tree
–The Six Bad Bitches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival
–Ultra in Pics: The 15 Photo Highlights, From Marijuana Boobs to Human Bananas
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Y’all have heard of Santa Claus, right? This is his raving doppelgänger, Santa Cock.
YMCA
The Village People called; they need the headdress back, papo.
A Formal Affair
Ultra Dress Policy: Black tie, no shirt.
PANDA-monium
This bro’s spirit animal must be exhibitionist panda. Cute boots, dude.
Full Chub
Is that a banana in your pants? Or are you just happy to be at Ultra? Well played, Chubs.
Cojones
Ballsy outfit, bro!
Fanny Package
We actually asked this bro to “act natural” for the picture.
Furry
With that much body hair, why bother wearing clothes?
Captain No Pants
Who needs pants when you’ve got a captain’s hat, sunglasses, and sweet golf cart?
Ultra Formal
Always remember to match your tie to your kandi kid accessories.
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
