Troy Kurtz's Ten Essential Tips for Summer Clubbing

The morning after some serious partying, you wake up totally confused because your lips are pasted shut and you've literally been dreaming about the sweat on a glass of cold water. Yours eardrums are KO-ed from last night's bass, and it sounds like your guitar tuner got stuck on E.

You're doing it all wrong! But that's OK, kids, 'cause Crossfade is hooking you up with some advice from a seasoned survivor of Miami's nightlife scene. Just see the cut for Troy Kurtz's ten essential tips for summer clubbing.

10. Water and Gatorade

When you combine the brutal summer heat and alcohol, you're bound to be pretty dehydrated the next morning. If you know you're in for a long night, force down some water and a bottle of Gatorade before you head out. At 4 a.m., those electrolytes are lifesavers for your cramping legs.

9. ChapStick With 15 SPF

Never leave home without it. No one wants to kiss parched lips. That's gross.

8. Loafers and Boat Shoes

Unless you're planning on spending your day in the sand, don't be caught wearing flip-flops. Eight out of ten girls would surely veto your Rainbows. Yacht club vibes, bro. C'mon, get nautical.

7. Ear Plugs

Ear plugs allow you to hear all your favorite tunes in the club, just at a lower volume. Being deaf is not sexy. Protect your ears.

6. Buddy Up a Bartender

"I've always found that if you see yourself going to the same club or bar frequently," Troy says, "being polite and leaving a generous tip goes a long way toward having a cheaper bar tab."

5. Dentyne Ice Arctic Chill Gum

There's only one thing more annoying than being really parched and desperately needing a piece of gum. And that's bumming a heinous fruit-flavored stick off a stranger. It might actually be worse than straight-up stank mouth. So always carry your own minty fresh chew. Whatever Dentyne puts in its Arctic Chill gum is the ultimate when you need to cure a bad case of butt breath.

4. Cabs

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  • Wednesday, Oct. 16, 2019 / 7:00pm @ Revolution Live 200 West Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale FL 33312
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The great thing about summer in Miami is it's mostly locals at the club. The downside of not having all the tourists out on the town ... Cops have more time to harass you once you've decided to call it a night. So be smart. A $20 cab ride is a lot cheaper than the the attorney's fees you'll have to pay when Mr. Police Officer gives you a DUI.

3. Pool Parties

There are few things as fun as a proper pool party. But you've gotta be careful when it comes to the weather, the venues, and scoring tickets. First off, always check the forecast. If it's only showing a 20- to 40-percent chance of rain, then you should give it a chance. Anything 50 percent and above, and you might want to rest up for the night. Second, do some research on the venue. You can have great DJ lineup, but if the venue looks half-assed, then the sound will probably be half-assed, and so will the service. Established pool party meccas like the Surfcomber are always good for insane events. And third, always cop pre-sale tix. They're bound to go up in price the longer you wait and the good events always sell out. If you don't go, you can hawk the ticket for more than you originally paid.

2. Polarized Sunglasses

When the night ends, the morning begins, and the pool party starts, you don't want to be nursing your hangover without some decent eye protection. You don't have to get $400 designer shades either. A lot of surf companies like Von Zipper, Dragon, and Smith make dope-looking polarized glasses for about $100.

1. Your Crew

This is probably the most important and obvious necessity to having a good summer. It goes without saying that you always want to party with your friends. But when you've had a couple cocktails too many and a huge bouncer is threatening to kill you, you're going to want someone you really trust to have your back, not some random bro who you just met at summer class. Having a solid crew is also pivotal if you're seeing a big DJ and the party you're at is expected to hit capacity. Once inside, you're able to fan out and create a little circle of homies so sweaty strangers won't be all up in your business.

-- Gaby Izarra

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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