What day is it? Has anyone seen our "I'm in Miami, Bitch" tank? We remember taking it off to jump into the Shelborne pool on Friday, but it was gone four hours later after we got out and dried off.
Mid-March in Miami feels like a seemingly never-ending bleep-boop bender. Lock-jawed and loving it, WMC's rocking our tits, man; it's fucking epic. But seriously, what day is it?
Oh shit, Monday? There's still an entire week left of uhntz-uhntz-ing, six more days of reveling in the ecstasy that is electronic dance music. Life is grand. Check out today's top WMC 2012 parties.
Anarchy Afterhours. With Harry "Choo Choo" Romero, Jose Nunez, Antranig, Armand Pena, Carl Kennedy, and Vinicio Rotelli. 4 a.m., Euforia, 90 NE 11th Street., Miami; 786-425-3545; facebook.com/clubeuforiamiami. Ages 21 and up. It started at 4 a.m. and Euphoria's spelled wrong. So what? It's an afterhours party. Get the fuck over it. Like Crossfade on Facebook if your pupils are mad dilated, yo.
Three Kings of House 2012 WMC Pool Party. With David Morales, Louie Vega, and Tony Humphries. Noon, National Hotel South Beach, 1677 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 866-215-6641; nationalhotel.com. Ages 21 and up. Forget the Biblical Magi, these three kings aren't bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, they're bringing beats, bass, and '90s house music.
Purple Music and Dolce's Weekndance IV. With Jamie Lewis, Victor Simonelli, Roland Clark, Dario D'Attis, Luca Cassani, and others. Noon, Nikki Beach, One Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-538-1111; nikkibeach.com. Ages 21 and up. Aside from DJs and the staff at Nikki Beach, who works on a Monday during WMC? Stop being a corporate whore and start dancing, beat freak.
Monza Ibiza Records Pool Party. With Javier González, Yaya, Federico Grazzini, David Herrero, Ismael Rivas, and others. Noon, Congress Hotel South Beach, 1052 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 877-775-5783; congresshotelsouthbeach.com. Ages 21 and up. Nobody throws a better party than the Spaniards, right? Party like a Balearic islander when Ibiza overtakes Congress.
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Bob Sinclar. With Michael Calfan. Amnesia Miami, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; amnesiamiami.com. Ages 21 and up.
"Word, Hold On," Bob Sinclar, legendary French DJ and co-owner of Amnesia, is in town to spread the "Love Generation." Vive la France!