Audio By Carbonatix
Earlier this week, Crossfade reported on Khia — the rapping stripper from Tampa, Florida — and the naked picture she Tweeted on Sunday.
Khia’s stated motivation for leaking her own nudes was to celebrate the ten year anniversary of “My Neck, My Back,” the MCs super explicit, lone hit single devoted entirely to cunnilingus.
In this lascivious spirit of revelry, Crossfade thought it was time to compile a list of the dirt nasty raunchiest MCs in the history of the game. Check the sweaty, sticky results after the jump.
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10. Blowfly
She sat on the bed and pulled off her clothes as the funk from her pussy started fuckin’ with my nose Suddenly I find that it was all a waste Cause there was a big penis starin’ me in the face
Rhyming hornball septagenarian, Blowfly (a.k.a. Clarence Reid) invented rap music. He may have also invented fucking.
9. Akinyele
I’m always sprung once I feel your tongue In the crack of my ass just eatin me nigga
Did Akinyele have any other songs? We’re not sure, and can’t be bothered to check the Google because we don’t want that shit coming up in our viewing history.
8. Ludacris
These days Ludacris is the Donald Duck of Mickey Mouse rap music. But at the beginning of the new millennium, the quick-spitting, hairy-palmed MC was the premiere voice in the world of freak shit.
7. Lil’ Kim
Puerto Rican papi, used to be a deacon But now he be sucking me off on the weekend And this black dude I called King Kong He had a big ass dick and a hurricane tongue
Lil’ Kim has been rapping about her vagina since the Golden Age of Gangsta way back in the 90s. We hope she keeps it up another three decades and is one day the female heir to Blowfly’s jizz-stained throne.
6. Lil’ Jon
To the window To the wall (to dat wall) To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS) To all these bitches crawl To all skeet skeet motherfucker (motherfucker!) All skeet skeet god damn (god damn)
Lil’ Jon’s contribution to hip-hop is immeasurable. He’s like ODB without the rapping. If it weren’t for Lil’ Jon, popular lexicon wouldn’t have an adequately coded synonym for ejaculating (skeet). And for this we salute him.
5. Eazy-E
O.G. gangsta Lee now after I shit your face wipes that ass clean now time to get tipsy and don’t want a bitch if she can’t rub the balls like a gypsy.
Crossfade wants to know how a gypsy rubs the balls. If you know the answer please do leave a comment.
4. R. Kelly
I’m about to twinkle it And touch your soul Once I enter your black hole Baby ohh, ohh
We have all watched R. Kelly pee on an underage girl. We’ve seen this because he filmed it himself. Nevertheless, R. Kelly is still an R&B stuperstar. His lyrics are so panty-droppingly smooth that we can’t wait ’till he pees on us. Make it rain, Kels!
3. Trina
I’m da jazzy type And I’ll only let you eat it if you ask me right My coochie mad tight
Has Trina ever considered becoming a dominatrix? Trick Daddy does seem like the kind of guy who would have pleasure gimp chained up in his love dungeon. Maybe the entire Slip’N’Slide family is a bunch of ball-gaggin’ freaks.
2. Too $hort
Bust a left nut, right nut in her jaw Sperm on her cheeks is all ya saw
Few MCs can rap about semen with as much lyrical flare as Too $hort.
1. 2 Live Crew
Each room has a bed and also a sink So you can wash your dick after fucking the pink
Yeah, yeah. You knew they were going to be #1 from the second you read the headline. 2 Live Crew went all the way to the Supreme Court because they believed that much in not only demanding strippers pop their pussies, but doing so in song form.
