“Part of the weekend never dies.”
That was the vocal hook of this Soulwax track I used to bang the fuck out to when I was in college. Back then, it seemed like a hopeful rallying cry for a weekend warrior. It was the mantra you repeated to yourself between class periods. Then I graduated and moved to Miami, and I realized, oh crap, this is just, like, how this city lives.
Every night in Miami is a night of decadence. It's bacchanal. It's debaucherous. It's never-ending. It doesn't matter if you've got work in two hours or if
That's why we've set out on a mission to map out the ultimate week of partying in Miami. We took a look at each night of the week, and — considering drink specials, music, and overall vibes — selected our picks for the best place to go every night.
Are we saying these are the only places you should be going in Miami? Not at all. Get out there and explore. But, before you do, check these essentials off your list.
Murk Mondays at
This Wynwood tequila and taqueria is beloved for far more than finger food. Behind the tables and guac, just past the bathroom,
Runner-up: Churchill's for Jazz Night in the front and Dubday Monday in the back. Tuesday
Slap & Tickle Tuesdays at Bardot, 3456 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-576-5570; bardotmiami.com.
Four years running, and this smoky underground disco still makes your Wednesday morning a living hell. Whether you're partying with electro legends like Greg Wilson, edgy house heroes like Hannah Wants, or one of S&T's resident selectors, you're in for an evening as degenerate and memorable as you are.
Runner-up: the Love Below at the Electric Pickle.
Jelly Wednesdays at Basement, 2901 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 786-257-4548; basementmiami.com.
Girl, don't play yourself. You're totally ready for this jelly, and this dance floor
Runner-up: Ladies night at Wood Tavern.
Ice Cream Thursdays at Sidebar, 337 SW Eighth St., Miami; 786-703-6973; sidebarmiami.com.
What other ladies' night do you know that comes with free ice cream? While you're thinking that over, we'll be in Sidebar's backyard, groovin' with some hot dude with moves. A healthy rotation of local DJs — from Louie Arson to Sharpsound and more — keeps the music eclectic but always on point. You might hear a little hip-hop, a little dancehall, a little house, but whatever you get, it's gonna be bumpin'. And oh yeah, ice cream!
Runner-up: Ladies' Night at Gramps.
Link Miami Rebels Fridays at Trade, 1439 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-6666; trademia.com.
Head over to SoBe and get weird. Link and Miami Rebels make sure to bring only the best in national and international acts every week. It might be Shiba San, or UMEK, or Stacey Pullen, or Magda. Even if you don't know the bill, the forecast is a 100 percent chance of dark, brooding, mystifying house and techno. Bass is all up in the place, and there's no velvet rope snobbery here. Bring your dancing shoes.
Runner-Up: El Patio happy hour.
Saturday (during the day)
Saturdays at the Vagabond, 7301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-400-8420; thevagabondmiami.com.
Miami pool parties can be soooo pretentious — and why? We live in one of the hottest and most tropical wonderlands in the world. We should all be able to have a little swim and a day drink without paying $75 just because there's music playing under the water (you know who you are). The Vagabond Hotel wants you to enjoy yourself without all that fuss. Sometimes they host barbecues and social gatherings, but on any given Saturday, you're welcome to catch rays, splash around, and down fruity cocktails at the poolside bar. Done and doner.
Runner-up: The Anderson. Saturday (at night)
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La Pachanga Saturday Nights at Ball & Chain, 1513 SW Eighth St., Miami; 305-643-7820; ballandchainmiami.com.
Who's hungry for salsa? Not the dip, but the sensual duet of bodies, of course. Little Havana hotspot Ball & Chain has quickly become Miami's favorite place for Latin rhythms, and Saturdays offer a variety of exciting live music acts. Maybe you'll come in to find Tito Puente Jr. on the Pineapple stage, or perhaps it's three-time Grammy-nominated Tiempo Libre. Check the calendar, or don't. Either way, it's heating up in there.
Runner-up: Club Space.
Sunday (during the day)
Sundays at Wynwood Yard, 56 NW 29th St., Miami; 305-771-4810; thewynwoodyard.com.
Sundays are for hanging back and having fun at a leisurely pace. It's for going outside and enjoying the sun with friends and good brews. It's for a little bit of music and dancing between bites of delicious noms. You can find all that and more at the locally driven cultural hub that is Wynwood Yard. Sometimes there's live music or a friendly workout class, and sometimes there are just good, laidback reggae jams courtesy of Kulcha Shok. It's always a chill, good time for friends, family, and even pets.
Runner-up: 1 Hotel South Beach's Rooftop and Lounge.
Sunday (at night)
LIV on Sundays at, well, LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com.
If it's good enough for Lil Wayne, it's good enough for you. The dresses are tight, the chains are blinding, and the party is, as the kids say, wavy af. Odds are 50/50 Floyd Mayweather shows up with his Money Team, and it's a sure bet you catch a contact high from all the weed smoke in the air. Get there early, because once the doors are open, you don't want to be sitting outside haggling with a bouncer all night. Come correct, or don't come at all.
Runner-up: Chocolate Sundays at Purdy Lounge