You know that cliché that goes, "You can't eat your cake and have it too"?
It probably came from one of our broke friends up north who spend their weekends staring at the wall and watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, because that's all there's to do since they don't live in Miami.
Lucky for you, this is the Magic City, where everyone, including us, who have nothing but spare change and lint in our pockets, can party on the cheap.
Here are the ten best music-related things to do in Miami under $10 this weekend.
See also: Five Best Concerts in Miami
Oh Really?! Showcase. Part of III Points with Afrobeta, Millionyoung, Jean Jacket, and Legs Benedict. Friday, October 4, 9 p.m., Brisky Gallery Miami,130 NW 24th St., Miami; 786-409-3585; briskygallery.com. Free. "Play House" and "make [musical] babies" with Afrobeta as the duo puts on a free show with Millionyoung, Jean Jacket, and Legs Benedict.
Dyslexic Postcards. Tour Kick Off with the Owl Revue, A Bird Named Python, Loaded Guns, Birdman, Fantastic 5, and DJ Russell. Friday, October 4, 9 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. The Miami "Tropical Trash" legends are gonna keep your "body moving and mind wandering to a new hard-rocking stratosphere" with their indie, debauch rock beats.
See also: New Times' Concert Calendar
Black Taxi. With the Woolly Bushmen. Friday, October 4, 11 p.m., Will Call, 700 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-577-5900; willcallmiami.com. Say hello to Black Taxi, the band that's a little bit of rock with a hint of punk and a touch of pop, kind of like the love child of Cake, Modest Mouse, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Recess. With DJ Fly Guy. Saturday, October 5, 5-10 p.m., Blackbird Ordinary, 729 SW 1st Ave., Miami; 305-671-3307; blackbirdordinary.com. Free. You might wanna brush up on those Running Man skills 'cause Blackbird's kickin' it back old school with some hippity-hop. Now do the Cabbage Patch and get ready for Run-D.M.C., Ice Cube, and other beats of the kind.
Gumdrops Showcase. Part of III Points with J Viewz, Krisp, Nacho, Shangri-La, Hunters of the Alps, the Tremends, Panic Bomber, Keen One, and Dude Skywalker. Saturday, October 5, 4 p.m., Brisky Gallery Miami,130 NW 24th St., Miami; 786-409-3585; briskygallery.com. Free. J. Viewz can never be "Far Too Close" from Miami's "Salty Air," especially when the Grammy-nominated artist is putting on a free show along with Krisp, Nacho, Shangri-La, Dude Skywalker, and other local faves.
'80s Flashback Festival. Saturday, October 5, 8 p.m., Tobacco Road, 626 South Miami Ave., Miami; 305-374-1198; tobacco-road.com. $10. Yeah, the '80s are so 30 years ago, but somehow you constantly find yourself listening to the Cure on cassette, watching Sixteen Candles on VHS every Sunday night, and rockin' spandex. Well tonight, you'll get to relive the decade of shoulder pads and Madonna at Tobacco Road's '80s fest.
12 Nights of Electronic Music and Art. With Jaap Blonk and Jeb Bishop. Saturday, October 5, 8 p.m., Harold Golen Gallery, 2294 NW 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-989-3359; haroldgolengallery.com. Free entry with a valid student ID and $7 for everyone else. Watch in awe as the Dutch performer makes some exceptionally weird, yet oddly entertaining noises with his mouth.
Midtown Get Down. With DJs Self Born and Heron. Sunday, October 6, 2-7 p.m., The Stage, 170 NE 38th St., Miami; 305-576-9577; thestagemiami.com. Free. Chow on some jerk chicken wings, down a $6 pitcher of Yuengling, jam to the beats of DJs Self Born and Heron, and watch the Miami Dolphins kick some Baltimore ass.
Alberto Ruiz. With Gonzalez and Alex Poxada. Sunday, October 6, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-614-4478; treehousemiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Get your Sunday night techno fix with Alberto Ruiz and wake up feeling pumped up for the work week. Bring it, Monday!
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Rottenness. With Shitstorm, 440, Servants of the Mist, and others. Sunday, October 6, 9 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. $5. Rottenness may be a bunch of "Filthy Slaves of Bestiality" who are "Addicted To Purulent Orgasms," but do they know how to grind.