Do you find yourself falling within that treacherous zone of a Venn diagram that connects "Working for the Weekend" with "The Great Recession"?
One surefire way to know: Do you work all the fucking time, yet your wallet functions primarily as a seedy motel for moths?
Maybe you need to get a new job.
Or maybe you should just keep slummin' it and keep your weekend plans on the cheap. If you've selected Door No. 2, you're in luck.
Check the cut for Crossfade's ten best music-related things to do in Miami this weekend under $10.
The Den at the Purple Line. Friday, March 8. Purple Line Miami, 650 NE Second Ave., Miami. The Purple Line is a performance art installation collaboration smorgasbord. The happening is a market (and/or marketplace of ideas) fashioned like a train station. The goal is a simultaneous promotion of public transportation and local art. And there will be complimentary Becks beers from 5 to 10 p.m. and cocktails by Miami Events Group from 5 to 8.
CATastrophe. With the Tunnel, the Jellyfish Brothers, Haochi Waves, Sharlyn Evertsz, Space Between Words, Astrokats. 229 Washington Drive, Miami. BBQ at 8 p.m., bands at 9.
The title of this event has about as much to do with the content of this here live music exhibition as the video we have posted above. However, the video and the name of the concert are definitely related. This might be a house party, so bring a burlap stack with which you may purloin fine china while everyone is busy rocking and/or making out.
Axe and the Oak with Plains and Manray (Athens, GA). 9 p.m. Friday at Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami.
Axe and the Oak are one of Miami's best rock bands. Unfortunately, they are also adults with day jobs. Sometimes we wish they would stop being so god damned responsible all of the time, pick up some habit or another, and start gigging every night to pay the myriad debts they have accrued by living a nightlifestyle of all sinful everything. But then maybe their cinematically gloomy postpunk Americana hybrid wouldn't be as tight. So we'll take whatever live performances we can get.
Citizens of Triangle Earth: Prepare Yourself! With live performances by Master Feathers, Phantasm, Smurphio, BambumBox, TimeZookeeper, LineNoise, Breastmilk, DGTL, and Bipolar Controller. Friday, March 8. LaLa's, 12325 NE Sixth Ave., Miami.
Explained simply, Otto Von Schirach is like Superman and the Triangle Earth family are like the Justice League of America and/or Justice Society of America depending on how much of a geek you are. Come party with people who party with the perverted prince of Bermuda Triangle bass music.
Peachfuzz. With DJ Erock and resident DJ DZA. Friday, February 15. The Garret at Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami.
Every city has its Friday-night standard. Y'know, the party guaranteed, week after week, to be balls to the fuckin' walls. Everyone is faded and horny. Peachfuzz is not just Your Girl's Favorite Party (although, don't get me wrong, baby girl get fucked up). It is also a weekly occasion adored by a variety of demographics that have two things in common: Youth and the desire to party like a rockstar, get white-boy wasted, and end up naked on The Internet.
For Your Pleasure: Art Walk Edition. With the Cost, Manny Mangos, Las Tias, and DJs Tet de Vac and Sgt. Pepperspray. Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami. Jams are kicked out at 9 p.m. Free!
What is this weekly get-down at Wynwood waterin' hole Gramps really about? 'Cause The Internet makes it seem like a party of sorts. But if you ask us, the whole thing kinda reminds us of those handjob stores that front like they're "massage parlors." Which, really, should just be more motivation to attend this free party (not sure how much the happy endings cost).
Audio Junkie Double Premier: The ZZZ's and This Heart Electric. Sweat Records, 5505 NE Second Ave., Miami. 9 p.m. $3 donation.
If we were hardened bullies who started every morning gargling lukewarm vinegar, we would dangle those Jellyfish Brothers by their ankles and steal their lunch money. Lucky for everyone involved, we just want them to hug us (both of them, at the same time) and chirp sweet nothings about psychedelic Japanese Baberham Lincolns (The ZZZ's) and Miami's breeziest unplugged garage rock (This Heart Electric). Or at least watch their latest documentaries about both of those bands.
Raekwon. The Stage. 170 NE 38th St., Miami. 11 p.m. Tickets cost $22 in advance and $35 at the door.
Ya know, if this whole rapping thing doesn't work out for him, Raekwon the Chef could always go into catering.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Rancho Relaxo. Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami. Sunday. DJs Gio Ardito and Arun Brown.
Gramps continues its series of sketchy massage-themed parties.
Chocolate Sundays. Purdy Lounge, 1811 Purdy Ave., Miami. 11 p.m.
Don't worry. We're pretty sure none of the DJs at Miami's most reliable Sunday-night rager would ever drop the dustup remix of "Chocolate Rain."