It's humid as shit and there's a 40-percent chance of rain this weekend. The threat of scattered thunderstorms leaves us no choice other than stripping down to our underwear and binge-drinking indoors for the next 72 hours.
However, massive alcohol poisoning could be avoided if that Mother Nature bitch puts a plug on precipitation and hits us with decent enough weather to check out some of this weekend's best music-related things 'round Miami.
We're really looking forward to The Soul Rebels, Earth Mother. Don't fuck this up for us.
Palo! Friday, May 18, 11 p.m., PAX, 337 SW Eighth St., Miami. $10. Miami's Palo! throws down an Afro-Cuban set that'll hit you harder than a stick to the nuts. Enjoy some food, cigars, and live painting.
Jahfe. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., The Cabaret Stage at Tobacco Road, 626 S. Miami Ave., Miami. $5. Despite rumors that Miami's oldest bar may close ahead of its three-year deal with the new landowners, it's business as usual at Tobacco Road this weekend. Live music and cheap drinks.
Destroyio Records Presents. Friday, May 18, 9 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. $6. Desde Puerto Rico, Tus Idolos rock the tits off Churchill's this weekend.
Parallels. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami. $10. Join Canadian synth-poppers Parallels for a Friday-night dance party at The Vagabond.
Peach Fuzz. Friday, May 18, 11 p.m., The Garret at Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Free. The choice is yours ... Obituary for $22 or '90s music videos for free. It's a no-brainer, y'all.
Jesse Jackson's CD Release Party. Saturday, May 19, 10 p.m., The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami. Free before 11 p.m. Arguably one of South Florida' best singer-songwriters, Jesse Jackson celebrates the release of his self-titled record with his beloved Miami.
The Soul Rebels. Saturday, May 19, 10 p.m., The Stage, 170 NE 38th St., Miami. Advance tickets cost $10. Is this the best cover version of a song in the history of music? It might be.
DD Lunz. Saturday, May 19, 10 p.m., Bougainvillea's Old Florida Tavern, 7221 SW 58th Ave., South Miami. Free. Free music is rarely this good. Check these cats out.
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The Record: Contemporary Art and Vinyl. Sunday, May 20, Noon, Miami Art Museum, 101 W. Flagler St., Miami. $8. Stop procrastinating and make it out to the MAM for this spectacular exhibit. Just a few more weeks left, slacker.
Shameless Burlesque's Fourth Anniversary. Sunday, May 20, 9 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. $7 Happy anniversary, ladies!