When we last saw him, Steven Tyler had turned into a 63-year-old grandma who'd gotten lost on a sandbar.
Well, the Aerosmith frontman is back in the tabloid blogosphere for his bod. Only this time it's got nothing to do with his grams gams.
No, Steven Tyler has completely fucking twisted toes. And their nails are painted blue.
Check the jump for a full explanation on WTF is up with Stevie's gnarled feet -- plus four other physical consequences of rocking too hard.
The Rock Star: Neil Percival Young
The Injury: Shakey sliced off the tip of his left index finger while trying to cut a ham sandwich.
Rockin' Rating (Scale of 1-10): 4.7
Conclusion: Making lunch is not a very rock-star way to chop off an appendage. But on the other hand, the hardness of one's rocking might be inhibited by hunger.
The Rock Star: Edward Lodewijk Van Halen
The Injury: Eddie had to get a hip replacement after all those years of onstage antics and axe-slangin'.
Rockin' Rating: 6.2
Conclusion: Joint replacement therapy is only slightly cooler than maiming via sandwich.
The Rock Star: Peter Dennis Blandford Townshend
The Injury: Pete Townshend has suffer partial deafness and tinnitus ever since drummer Keith Moon loaded up his drum kit with fireworks during The Who's performance on the The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.
Rockin' Rating: 7.9
Conclusion: Explosions? Tinnitus? Now we're cookin' with gas!
The Rock Star: Steven Victor Tallrico, AKA Steven Tyler
The Injury: According to the New York Daily News, the Aerosmith frontman has completely deformed his feet by dancing like a freak in too-small shoes. And it is completely horrifying.
Rockin' Rating: 9.3
The Rock Star: Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, and every other member of the Dead at 27 Club.
The Injury: Death.
Rockin' Rating: 10
Conclusion: Dying preserves your legacy. If Tupac were alive today, he'd be starring in cell-phone commercials and comedies with the Wayans brothers.
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