"We are giving it ALL away."
In typically over-the-top fashion, South Beach's Mokai, one of Miami-based nightlife empire Opium Group's party spots, just announced that it's closing. Not next month. Or even next week. But tonight.
Apparently, though, according to club reps, the shutdown is only temporary.
UPDATE Mokai has reopened with a full slate of Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week parties.
Still, even if Mokai's only getting a "renovation/refresher," the party spot's hype team wasn't about to let their hangout slip silently into short-term closure.
(After all, this is the crew responsible for stunts like InterASSional Wednesdays, XXX Fridays, Star Fukcer Saturdays, and the Panty Raid wherein "the first 25 girls that take their panties off and hangs them from the bar gets a Complimentary BOTTLE of Champagne!")
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So it's no surprise that "Mokai wants to make sure that we all go out with a bang, or two."
To that end, the hype team plans to liquidate the place tonight with a so-called "Everything Must Go" party. And among the goodies apparently up for grabs: "Sex toys, whips, booze, cages, animals, women, furniture, decor."
Now, we here at Crossfade are pretty sure the club is joking about "practically giving everything away." But reps have been asked to confirm (in addition to renovation details) whether dildos and female humans will actually be handed out to VIPs as parting gifts.