Bar fights: The result of way too much liquid courage combined with high levels of testosterone. Or, in some cases, cattiness.
They usually happen near the end of the night when someone either gives you the "stank eye" or hits on your man (or woman) right in front of you.
Regardless of the reason, bar fights are never a good idea. Someone always gets hurt. And if you're the chicks who got into an altercation at Radio Bar, you will forever be known as the girls who gave Cat Fight Ladies' Night its name.
"One of the first nights we opened, two girls got into a confrontation and that's how we got the name, Cat Fight Ladies Night," said Philippe "Flip" Falca who owns the bar.
Now ladies are given weekly special treatment on Wednesday nights from 6-9 p.m. with free Angie, Khloe, Nina, and Lady Love cocktails and Sweet & Tipsy cupcakes fused with alcohol.
Although no fights went down last week at the SoBe joint, you never know when you'll find yourself stuck in the middle of a brawl. And even though the best thing to do is take a deep breath and walk away, sometimes you just need to throw a punch.
So in the event that you find yourself having to fight back and show 'em who's boss, we solicited six moves to help you win a Miami bar fight.
The Pool Stick
We spoke with Teddy Collins, the man standing behind the bar.
"I'm not a fighter, I'm a good guy," said Collins as he reached underneath the bar and grabbed a pool stick.
"But if I had to choose, I would break a pool stick and use it," he said, holding his weapon like a baseball bat.
"What is that?" asked the guy next to me who was wearing green scrubs.
"It's for anyone who doesn't pay the tab," Collins joked.
The Roundhouse & Headbutt
Michael Carter and a friend who'd just moved to Miami from Atlanta were having a drink by the bar.
"I'd roundhouse 'em," said Carter.
"Can you show me a demo?" I asked.
"I got my Air Jordans on, I can't," he shrugged.
"But it's like an evacuation and all your shit's gonna be all over the street. It's like a fucking highway out there," he said.
Michael's friend interrupted.
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"This douchebag ain't worth it," he said about getting into a bar fight with another dude.
"But if I had to choose, I'd headbutt him."
Walk Away Rick James Smack Down
As Flip was walking around the bar and greeting his customers, I asked him what he would do if he were caught in the middle of a bar fight.
"I'd walk away," said Flip. "But the Rick James smack down has worked for me as well," he added.
Jedi Mind Tricks
Carlos Del Olmo, or "Bam Bam" as he likes to call himself, was watching the Miami Heat game with some friends.
"I'd stare my opponent in the eye and read their mind. I'd find their weakness and depending on their reaction, I'd take them down or let them slide," said the 30-year Miami Beach resident.
"They don't call me Bam Bam for no reason."
Monica Ferreira was sitting on a black couch by the window, drinking a beer with her friend.
"I never fight," said the slender Brazilian wearing a tight black and white stripped dress.
She seemed to have some difficulty understanding me. Her friend served as a translator and as soon as Ferreira understood, she jokingly grabbed her Heineken beer bottle, which is the universal warning for "don't make me use this on you."
The Mind Crusher
Sitting on the sofa by the pool table and next to the DJ were Chelsie Thomas and her friend Sasha Santiago.
"I'd fuck with someone's mind and mind crush 'em," said Chelsie Thomas.
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"Kind of use reverse psychology on them?" I asked.
"More like I'd ask them, 'Why?' I won't get physical but she would and she has," Chelsie pointed at her curly haired friend.
"I'd use a knife," Sasha deadpanned.