Shake Ass and Guzzle Jungle Juice With the TBD Crew at Bar Tonight

See the cut for a free download of A Totally Non-Ironic TBD Party Mix.

When you shake ass to Salt-N-Pepa's superfun 1986 sex song "Push It" while guzzling a gallon's worth of rubyfruit jungle juice shots, you better really, really, really freaking mean it? Otherwise, don't even bother showing up for tonight's launch of TBD, a new non-ironic dance party at Bar. Like everyone's favorite lady rappers said: "This dance ain't for everybody, only the sexy [and, um, sincere?] people"

Put together by occasional Crossfade contributor Liz Tracy and two gal pals named Lorraine and Amanda, we can absolutely guarantee these girls aren't fooling. They want nothing less than genuine 305-level fun.

"Yeah, it's definitely a dance party. And nothing ironic is going on. You can leave your fanny packs and neon shirts at home," Liz insists, snapping her neck like a pissed-off chonga. But then she softens a little, saying, "Oh, OK ... You can still wear them. We'll still hug you and like you."

Talking about hugs and other forms of intimate body contact, the TBD crew plans to ply us all with booze. It's ladies' night, so all the people with vaginas will get excellent drink deals. But there's something for the dudes too. "We want everyone to come out and drink our rubyfruit jungle juice shots," Liz says. "Get intoxicated! Enjoy the night! And dance!"

After the ass-shaking and alcohol, though, it's all about the songs. And according to Lorraine, the party got its name 'cause, "I was just like, 'Oh, TBD! To Be Determined!' And that kind of makes sense because what we're gonna play will be very open-ended. We all have very different tastes."

(That said, other interpretations of the acronym TBD are encouraged. "Tuesday-Based Dancing," offers Amanda. "Or The Bar Deliquents," Lorraine riffs.)

Now depite mismatched record collections, Liz says there's totally, totally, totally a common link. "It's all dance music. It's just that dance music means something different to each one of us."

"Yeah. For me, dance music can mean anything from the new Lil Wayne song '6 Foot 7 Foot' to old rockabilly like Link Wray," Amanda explains. "That's all fun to dance to."

How about Lorraine? "Well, my normal DJing preferences are electronic dance music, house, Baltimore club, Detroit techno," she says. "We just wanna bring our varied tastes together. It could be Sonic Youth or just straight-up house. It all collides somewhere."

So basically, if we've got this straight, TBD's gonna be an awesomely sincere-but-not-serious clusterfuck of musical- and non-musical influences, like Salt-N-Pepa, pure fun, Sonic Youth, Lil Wayne, big butts, plush toys, and the penile-shaped piece of land we all call home.

For any further clarification, just download the mix and peep the flyer.

Tracklist for A Totally Non-Ironic TBD Party Mix

1. Sonic Youth's "100%"

2. Rod Stewart's "Young Turks"

3. Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner"

4. Lil Wayne's "6'7'"

5. Jungle Brothers' "I'll House You"

6. Crystal Waters's "100% Pure Love"

7. Felix da Housecat's "Ready 2 Wear"

8. Violent Femmes' "Gone Daddy Gone"

9. DJ Assault's "Hoes Take Off Your Clothes"

10. Missy Elliott's "Hot Boyz"

11. The Saharades' "Dumb Head"

Download: A Totally Non-Ironic TBD Party Mix

("Option" click for Mac, right click for PC)

TBD, A Non-Ironic Dance Party. Tuesday, February 15. Bar, 28 NE 14th St., Miami. The party starts at 9 p.m. and it's free. Call 305-633-9345 or visit 28ne14st.com.

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