While looking through Bad Girl Ri Ri's Instagram gallery, we came to the conclusion that Def Jam's Barbadian princess should just be real and change her name to #Rijuana.
This chick don't need to wait till 4:20. She just wakes and bakes while dressed in some expensive lingerie. Or an autographed basketball jersey. Or nothing.
Thankfully, Rihanna's got some kind of crippling addiction to mass-media attention. So she closely documents every low-eyed moment of her diamond-fueled sexcapades with Mary Jane. And thankfully, we here at Crossfade have nothing better to do than mine those suckers and share them with you.
One of the first pics on RiRi's Instagram account. And predictably, she started out as unapologetically as possible. Obvi, she just got out of her styling sesh for the morning, and she's been smoking fatties the whole damn time. This hot bitch be workin' it.
This grainy flick looks like some still from a nasty porno that we can almost make out on our stolen cable. Imagine, gentlemen, that she's not even smoking weed, but your umbrellas. Looks like she's pretty good at it, for a bad girl.
Even when she's making her most stoned face imaginable, Rihanna seems to pull off some kind of mystic sexiness. What sort of painful lessons lurk behind those low eyes? Looks like she's about to go film the music video for "Diamonds." Good to know RiRi was completely high for the whole thing.
This could be some kind of motivational poster for your office or classroom. Everyone needs to have that reminder that, whatever problems or issues reveal themselves to you during the day, nothing is too serious a buzzkill that a little #Rijuana won't fix it.
Everyone remembers this epic bad girl moment when Rihanna climbed a bro's head to roll a massive blunt. She also never bothered to give him a hit and smoked the whole stalk to the dome. Honestly, being so close to Rihanna's sex trap should be good enough.
This is Rihanna's come-hither look. Don't you want to have a threesome with RiRi and Mary? Also, what is she looking at on her phone? More pictures of girls and weed? Is this where you get your inspiration? What a life.
Here Rihanna demonstrates her superb, world-class blunt-rolling skills. That might be one of the biggest blunts we've ever seen. No doubt, Cheech and Chong would be proud. If there's ever a sequel to Belly in the works, this lady needs to be involved.
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Rihanna just uploaded this awesome 'tude swag shot a few days ago. She's getting her Trinidad James on, rockin' all gold everything, poppin' rastafari, and sweatin'. We are secretly hoping this is the cover of her next album.
Oh hey, what are you doing? I'm just chillin' in the islands, loungin' about in my sexy bathing suit, blowin' on trees. I think I'll just take a nap, wake up and do it again.
Unfortunately, this isn't Rihanna's ass. But she did post this pic to her Instagram. And it is a weed leaf. And it is a very nice bottom. So we'll share it with you anyway. Here's to you Rihanna. May you always be stoned and sexy as fuck.