If we could spend Thanksgiving hanging out with any rapper of our choosing, we would immediately select Rick Ross. Do we even have to tell you why?
For starters ... He's The Boss! And he's one of the phattest rappers alive.
But most importantly, the Teflon Don who (unlike God) never forgives, may be the most culinarily inclined MC of all time.
Here is a Thanksgiving Day feast, as prepared by Rick Ross's lyrics.
Munchies: Turkey Bacon
The Boss Says: "Waking up to turkey bacon and my thick queen"
For breakfast: Ross's weight in bacon strips.
Munchies: Champagne, Rosé, Purple Drank.
Jam: "Hard In The Paint Freestyle," "Aston Martin Music," "Hold Me Back,"
The Boss Says: "Champagne drown a bitch till she gotta pee," 'A lot of quiet time / pink bottles of Rosé," and "Then I start sippin' purple, got my shit screwed"
Immediately following breakfast, get to the booze! We've only listed some of the Don's favorite libations. But we're sure his Turkey Day fiesta comes with, like, casino-level alcohol supply.
Jam: "I Swear to God"
The Boss Says: "Salty, we the only niggas eating chips."
Y'know, hors d'oeuvres. Or as we like to call 'em, "What keeps us just sober enough to stand."
Jam: "This Is The Life"
The Boss Says: "Started with a biscuit now I got a loaf/Hoes wanna slice I wann' tell her no/But I can't I get a rush blowin' dough."
After a long day of hustlin', Ricky Rozay loves nothing more than coming to some warm biscuits...
Jam: "Cross That Line"
The Boss Says: "Can't cut it, stay choppin' through the butter, nigga"
...some curled butter...
Jam: "I'm Just Doing My Thing"
The Boss Says: "Making sure my lil' missus out here living gravy"
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...and gravy thicker than the fatty boomba laddies Rick Ross has one of his boys rolling throughout the entirety of Thanksgiving.
Munchies: Chicken Wings
Jam: "I Love My Bitches"
The Boss Says: "50 cash in the Louis for the chicken wings."
You think Maybach Music fucks with turkeys? OK, maybe they do. But that's for charity. You know at his own Thanksgiving, the poultry of choice is chicken. And the portion served is exclusively wing.
Munchies: Collard Greens
Jam: "John Doe"
The Boss Says: "I'm peeling collard greens/That 30 carats"
Leafy vegetables like kale are but one of many of Rick Ross's green shaded loves.
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Jam: "Amsterdam," "Comfortable Lifestyle," and "I'm a G"
The Boss Says: "Slice of cheesecake before my niggas all decease," and "Aventura Mall top it off wit' cheesecake/Sweet lemonade help a nigga ventilate" and "Need cheesecake like Fredrick."
Seems like the only thing he loves more than hooch is dairy-based dessert confections. Gotta love the shoutout to the Factory. Their cheesecake is Bawse!