Oy vey, what are you supposed to get a 36-year-old, 300-pound MC for his bar mitzvah? Do you go the quarter-pound of OG Kush route? Or the subtly extravagant iPad sleeve made of purebred dachshund fur route?
And what's the difference between a Black Bar Mitzvah and a standard run-of-the-mill bar mitzvah anyhow?
There's so much to learn in such little time ... Rick Ross's Black Bar Mitzvah mixtape is dropping in just four days! Seriously, this guy does not stop.
Take this past weekend, for example, when the MMG commander-in-chief had to throw down at the BET Hip-Hop Awards after Young Jeezy lost his mind and fucked with Maybach. And then Rozay's protégé, Gunplay, had to open a can of fuck-you-up on one of seven G-Unit dudes who jumped him backstage.
How they find time for a mixtape is beyond us. Especially considering that Black Bar Mitzvah will be Rozay's fourth major project this year.
Homie's already clocked more work hours in 10 months than a Foxconn's Taiyuan factory worker will in an entire year. And there's no end in sight.
Ross also announced the 23-city Maybach Music Tour with Meek Mill, Wale, and special guest Machine Gun Kelly today.
It's a brutal schedule, but that's the life of a hustler.
Eh, it's just another day at MMG.
Mazel tov, Rick Ross.