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Prank Calling Six Miami Bars and Strip Clubs Where You Should Go Watch the Heat vs. Mavs

Pour us another IPA. All this ass kickin' is making us thirsty.

By ass kickin', we mean basketball. And by thirsty, we mean drunk. What can we say, Miami loves a team that wins, and right now The Heat are putting butts in the seats at bars and clubs all over Miami-Dade.

We used our Miami New Times Clubs Directory to call up some area watering holes and make up rumors about wild and rowdy Texans running out on their bar tabs all over Dade. We also asked about booze specials and atmosphere.

Then we used that (un)scientific formula to come up with some great places to watch the NBA Finals, eat, drink, and party to live music and DJs after each game.

Here's what we found out.

Berries in the Grove

2884 SW 27th Ave., Coconut Grove


Crossfade: We've been getting reports about a wild pack of Dallas fans

tearing up the clubs. Our tip line is blowing up. Have you had any


Steve: No, we haven't had any problems. Mavs fans are welcome here. We

have mojito and margarita specials. Listen, I'm in the middle of lunch


3 & Out Irish Sports Tavern
13067 SW 112th St., Kendall

Andrew (bartender): Last night was really busy. It reminds me of all those years ago when the Heat won it all. Every seat in the house was full last night. Everybody cheering and having a good time. I've been here for nine years and everybody pretty much knows each other here. You don't have to wait in line for a seat. We didn't have any Mavs fans in here last night, it was all Heat."

Booby Trap Doral
5325 NW 77th Ave., Doral

Crossfade: When the Heat are in the Finals, what do the people pay more attention to, the dancers or the TVs?

Eric (manager): They generally pay attention to the game.

Does that piss off the girls?

They're used to it. They just have to wait for the commercials or halftime.

What kind of specials are there?

Drink specials, bottle specials, full-friction lap dances.

What's that?

The girl sits on top of you and kind of dances.

Can you get a full-friction while you watch the game?

Nah, you have to go to the lap dance room for that.

Any problem with Dallas fans over there?

Nah, we get a mix of regulars, tourists, first-timers, and once-in-a-whilers. It's all pretty much like that. If a Mavs fan comes in, we hope he finds a girl here that likes him and hangs out with him all night.

The Bar
172 Giralda Ave., Coral Gables

Crossfade: How was the game last night?

Deanna McKay (bartender, waitress): We had a good crowd. I feel like it's helping unite Miami a lot. It's a pretty disjointed city, so it's kind of cool. It affects business in a positive way. People  just wanna go out. We had this one group of four girls here all dressed up having a lot of fun drinking Black Label, Stella, and Corona, and shot, shot, shots every quarter. And they were here all night. And after the game we had karaoke night."

Billy's Pub Too
732 NE 125th St., North Miami.

Crossfade: How was the game last night?

The Heat won, so it was good game. And there was a good crew here.

You do anything special over there?

Happy hour and 50-cent wing specials.

We heard there's a wild pack of Dallas fans running around racking up bar tabs and leaving. Did anybody get their ass kicked in the parking lot?

No. My god, no. [Click]

Churchill's Pub
5501 NE Second Ave., Miami

Crossfade: What if an out-of-town Dallas fan showed up?

Dave Daniels
(owner): They probably would have been frightened and outnumbered. We had a lot of people here. Everybody here was Heat fan. Great atmosphere. Miami loves its winners. It reminds me of when they had hockey games at the old Miami Arena and people who couldn't get tickets would come here and throw rubber rats at the big-screen [TV]. One of the things about Churchill's, we've always had a fairly sporting crowd. Rival fans will kid each other, but it's all in good fun, and everybody is welcome to come and have a good time. We don't have real hostility over sports like in Europe or South America.

We heard that if the Heat win you're going to buy everyone a drink.

If they think it's such a good idea, then maybe they should do it.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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Jacob Katel
Contact: Jacob Katel