One does not simply like Phish.
Phish Heads are some of the most dedicated fans in the world. There's just something about this jam band that works white people into a frothy, goofy-dance mess. Even those who aren't that familiar with Trey Anastasio and crew have tales of losing themselves in the music, maaan.
So if you're a huge Phish fan and you live in Miami, do the "Meatstick" dance. Because just like in 2009, the Vermont-based cult band is coming to the American Airlines Arena to perform on New Year's Eve -- and then again for the next three days in a row.
Perhaps you can't count because you're too busy squealing and/or preparing your psychedelic drug order ... But that's a total of four Phish performances. One Phish, two Phish, I Phish, you Phish. We all get Phish.
Actually, that's not entirely true. There's a special, secure ticket registration system operating now via tickets.phish.com. Fans can register for as many tickets as they want, for as many dates as they want, as long as they register for all their tickets at the same time. There's a special package offering four-day ticket request bundles, with individual tickets starting at $75 and four going for $250. Registration is open until 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, September 28.
No doubt, these tickets are going to fly. So if you want to hear the Phish dudes perform tracks from their latest album, Fuego, and probably all the hits for what will be hours upon hours upon hours because this is a special NYE celebration, you should work fast.
There isn't another band on Earth that can play one song for 26 minutes and sound this good, maaan.
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Phish: New Year's Run 2014-15. Wednesday, December 31, to Saturday, January 3. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Tickets cost $75 to $250 plus fees via tickets.phish.com. Call 786-777-1000 or visit aaarena.com.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.