I'm in love, y'all! She's gorgeous. She's got this awesome hairstyle that is a cross between Amy Winehouse and some atrocity created with Bumpits. Her skin glows of fake orange tanner that one can only assume she was dipped in Tang. Some asshole thought it was okay to hit her gorgeous face, but he's paying for it now because he is probably the most hated man in America -- nay, the World.

We can all bask in the orange glow (watch it out, it might be radioactive) when Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. Snooki, hosts at Opium at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel (5729 Seminole Way, Hollywood) this Saturday. The Jersey Shore superstar will hopefully be fist pumping as DJ Ideal spins in the main room and Sire Esq spins in the Imperial room.

For more information call 954-327-9094 or visit opiumhardrock.com.

• Nightlife