Dolly Parton is a freaking hero. Her quick wit, good manners, powerful look, and business savvy make her the Oprah of the Smoky Mountains. Or maybe Oprah is the Dolly of Chicago? Either way, both bitches are fierce, and Dolly's more fun.
As the Queen of Country Music, her reign stretched from the stage to film and television. She worked 9 to 5 in the '80s, made us laugh and cry in Steel Magnolias, and sang her heart out in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
Basically, Dolly's a goddess among women. And so Crossfade put together a list of nine fascinating facts about Ms. Parton. You know, to help take your eyes off her boobs.
9. People Think She's a Lesbian, But She's Not
She's been married to her husband Carl Dean for over 40 years. But apparently, she has her very own version of Gail King, named Judy Ogle. A longtime champion of gay rights, she doesn't swing that way with her best girlfriend or any other woman. In an interview with EXP, a GLBT magazine in '05 when asked what lady she'd do it with, she said, "Oh, I don't think in those terms. I told you -- I'm trash! When I'm thinking of having an affair I think in terms of all the good-looking guys. But I've never really had a desire to be with a woman and that's the honest truth."
8. She Has Her Own Theme Park
Dollywood is located in Pidgeon Forge, just a few miles from her hometown of Sevierville, Tennessee. And no, Dollywood isn't a porno boob land. It's a family theme park with rides, traditional crafts, music of the Smoky Mountains, dinner theaters, and concerts. The park accepts all kinds of families and even received threats from the KKK for its annual Gay Day. There was recent controversy when a lesbian mom wearing the shirt "Marriage is gay," was denied entrance by a Dollywood guard. Dolly apologized publicly to the lil' gay lady, reaffirming her desire for equal rights as well as her stance on same-sex marriage.
7. She's a Big-Time Songwriter
In 2002, Dolly told the New York Times that she writes every day. She said, "It burns in me." A member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame, she's published something like 4,000 songs since moving to Nashville in 1964 with 25 country hits. Covered by other famous crooners, she's had the White Stripes, Whitney Houston, Sisters of Mercy, and Emmylou Harris sing her songs.
6. She's Got Many Musical Siblings
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This may come as no surprise, considering the Partons were poor mountain folk. But Dolly is the fourth of twelve children. Four of which, besides herself, are also singers.
5. She's in with Miley Cyrus
Parton calls herself the "honorary godmother" of Hannah Montana, the little actress, singer, and daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. She's known her since she was a baby and doesn't want us to be mean to her, even if we want to and are holding back right now.
4. She's Got Big Boobs
Dolly's boobs have always been supernaturally large. But in the '80s, apparently, after losing quite a bit of weight, she pumped the girls up artificially.
3. She Has Tattoos
Dolly's got a bit of ink on her tiny frame, including an angel on her left upper arm and a butterfly on her chest.
2. She Loves Cat Stevens
Well, who doesn't? But Ol' Dolly is a huge fan of Yusuf Islam and she has even covered some of his tunes.
1. She's a Quote Machine
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This lil lady has big wit. To finish this list, here are a few of our top favorite Dolly-isms: "It costs a lot to make a person look this cheap"; "I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blond"; "It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen."
Gotta love this lady!
Dolly Parton's Better Day World Tour. Tuesday, October 18. Hard Rock Live, One Seminole Way, Hollywood. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets cost $40 to $100 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 954-327-7625 or visit hardrocklivehollywoodfl.com.