When the hypemongers start tossing around loaded phrases like "Nicki Minaj," "All-Pink Everything," and "New Year's Eve," your mind instantly floods with hot and luscious fantasies of cartoonish proportions.
Example: You imagine slipping through gates that look like Nicki's pillowy, slightly parted, frosted lips. You imagine getting drunk on gallons of rosé champagne and filling your belly with three pounds of bubblegum. You imagine massive leather sofas shaped like human tongues.
Needless to say, our imaginations outdid reality.
Yes, the inside of Mansion was sufficiently pink. But it wasn't exactly all pink. There were clusters of color-coordinated balloons and glittering tinsel and inflatable metallic stars. It was cute but kinda basic.
In the run-up to party time, certain internet media reports put a $50,000 price tag on the décor. But that number must've been either wildly inflated or entirely fabricated.
As promised, though, the booze was free. And herds of club junkies filled up on shooter-sized mixtures of vodka and pink energy drink. Others guzzled endless plastic flutes of pink bubbly stuff.
By 11 p.m., the whole place was a little wasted. Old rich dudes disco danced to Chelly's "I Took the Night" while the ladies crawled up out of the crowd and wrapped themselves around stripper poles, doing an intoxicated imitation of the hired, half-naked Harajuku dancers.
But it wasn't until 11:56 p.m. that Ms. Minaj finally showed her face for the final countdown. And in a quad-colored wig (blonde, pink, purple, blue) and a gold-embroidered black dress, she chanted 2010 to a close.
For a minute, everyone totally expected a mini-set to inaugurate the newborn year. People jumped on top of speakers, trashcans, and tables for a decent look at the stage. And some even clumsily clambered into the VIP area. But Nicki had no plans to perform.
Instead, the tiny lady rapper just hung out for a bit, safely separated from the crowd by Mansion's front-stage barrier. She snapped photos with VIPs, made faces at the crowd, and autographed everything in sight, including plastic party hats and partially exposed boobies, before disappearing backstage.
And then, just minutes before 2 a.m., Minaj reemerged. But it was only a tease. For a moment, she half-heartedly rapped over one of her own tracks before getting back to more important business ... A second round of boobie duty.
Happy New Year!