Proof that God is nonexistent struck us like an 18-wheeler going 65 MPH in a school zone when Nickelback announced their Here and Now arena tour earlier this year.
We asked our readers to join the "stop Nickelback from infiltrating our up-and-coming, culturally relevant music scene" movement, but few responded. In fact, we were highly criticized, labeled "massive pricks" and a "highly retarded cunt."
The reaction was hurtful at first, but humbling in hindsight. Who are we to stop a shitty Canadian band from playing South Florida?
Despite being one of the world's most insipid radio rock bands, Nickelback is unbelievably popular. Over 13 million people "Like" the Alberta, Canada quartet on Facebook, that's about four million more than the Rolling Stones. They've racked up six Grammy nominations, 21 platinum certifications, and 12 Juno awards.
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Lead singer Chad Kroeger has an estimated net worth upwards of $50 million, and their tours are giant cash cows milked by power chords and simple drum patterns.
Love them ("I am aware that I am a Nickelback fan") or hate them ("I'd rather be stuck on the Palmetto, with NO A/C while having VIOLENT diarrhea!"), Nickelback is coming. And a petition isn't going to stop that from happening.
Here and Now Tour. With Nickelback with Bush, Seether, and My Darkest Days. Saturday, May 5. BankAtlantic Center, One Panther Pkwy., Sunrise. The show starts at 6 p.m. and tickets cost $17.50 to $86.75 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 954-835-7825 or visit bankatlanticcenter.com.