There is just something about Missy. As I approached Ms. Elliott last night at Sunset Place for a special screening of Step Up 2, I felt my knees turning into Jell-O. Our eyes made contact; my heart began to beat faster than a machine gun. We shook hands. “I am from Miami New Times,” I said as our arms wrapped around one another and we embraced. “I have been waiting my whole life to hug you.”
I looked up and saw Flo Rida standing behind her. “Aren’t you from Carol City?” I asked, “um…Mr. Flo?” We talked about Slip N Slide, Poe Boy, and 305 in general. “But God is first and foremost,” he said, “that’s really what it’s about.”
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Missy and Flo Rida were then flooded with cameras and microphones. I walked outside and looked at the long line of modern-day teeny boppers holding their computer print-out tickets. “We’re not hipsters, they suck,” I heard a long-haired young man say. “We’re Myspacers.”
My Spacers? Wtf?
But indeed, we were at a mall movie theater. Popcorn, Twizzlers, sticky floor. Smiling mothers with their daughters wearing Hannah Montana hats. Outside of Marino’s Bar, a street team was trying to pass out tickets to fill theater 22, of which they seemed incapable. “Free movie, meet Missy Elliot … FREE!!!!” They handed me a Myspace-branded bandanna, which I used to wipe the sweat from my brow as I pondered how something went wrong, somewhere. Inside the theater, Missy Elliot sat and watched her new 3-D video (see photo). Then Flo Rida performed his #1 Billboard hit “Low”, to a practically empty movie theatre. It kind of reminded me of when I saw Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (in 1984).
Oh yeah, I promised this shorty that I would get her myspace up. Check out www.myspace.com/montanatucker. She says she might be opening for Alicia Keys in May; keep checking here for more updates. -- Jason Handelsman