Remember when Miley Cyrus was just a lil' buck-toothed, aw-shucks, Southern-fried Disney princess?
Well, erase that shit from your mind. 'Cause Hannah Montana has been dead since 2011. And Ms. Cyrus has grown up into a twerking, penis cake-loving, side boob-flashing, porn star-smooching, 20-year-old Glamazon from some not-so-distant NC17-rated future.
Just look at the vid for Miley's new single, "We Won't Stop." There's gold grills, "twerk" spelled out in Spaghetti-Os, and lots of shameless ass-flexin' ... She's basically become Rihanna's whitebread bad girl twin.
So if you're a twerking, penis cake-loving, side boob-flashing, porn star-smooching Miamian, we've got some supertitillating news ...
This Friday, Ms. Cyrus will be putting in a "special guest appearance" at Y100's daytime minifest, Mackapalooza 2013, alongside headliner, superstar DJ, and RiRi collaborator Calvin Harris.
Now, there's currently no indication exactly what a "special guest appearance" from Miley might entail. But if "We Can't Stop" is a fairly accurate depiction of a typical afternoon with this self-described "dime, best top of the line, cute face with a BIG behind," then we call expect ...
"Shaking it like we at a strip club ... And everyone in line in the bathroom/Trying to get a line in the bathroom/We all so turnt up here/Getting turnt up, yeah, yeah."
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Or maybe just a 30-second celebrity twerk session to some pre-recorded pop-hop.
Either way, as Y100 points out, "it's FREEE!!!!"
Y100's Mackapalooza. With Miley Cyrus and Calvin Harris. Friday, June 28. Clevelander Hotel, 1020 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach. The party starts at 11 a.m. and ends at 6 p.m. Admission is free. Visit y100.com.