America. We're on the brink of war, just moments from disaster, shaking up and down, side to side, hanging out the bottom of some nude-colored shorts.
No, we're not talking about Syria. We're talking about Cyrus -- Miley Cyrus. And while the President fumbles with words and foreign relations, the nation finds itself distracted by the greatest ratchet white-girl story that the world has ever known.
From delusions of grandeur to twerking, from nude swings to rap debuts, Miley Cyrus is the hottest mess Disney has ever produced.